the Shadow Club

[michaelad]

ok, here we are then..

Oh, and I've brought candles for us too..because they always calm me down..

Hi Pink

SE London

am lurking as not really sure what else to say really, more than i have said already, as i beleive you can get better, and you will, and the determination you show in getting help from your crappy GP is a testament to that, so just going to lurk supportively !

hi pc

thanks for saying hi the othjer morning tooo - how you todya?

the thing is lulu a lot of the time atm I dont want to get better, that is too hard a road to take, I just want it all to be over so I dont have to keep fighting

Anyway, lets get it out in the open.. I have been depressed with suicidal undercurrents for as long as I can remember. And have been battling with weight issues since my teens (binging etc.)

Oh I love playing dodge the flame with candles, Very tranquil............calm

So losty did you have sunshine at yours today or rain? we had a lovely sunny day, would have loved to have gone out jogging but have to stick to the tredmill now due to the dd's do too many miles the poor little mites will have wind burn otherwise

I'm just kind of lurking & saying "Hi" too, lulu!

I am fine thanks girls. Hope you are both ok, and I am very jealous of your youthful age, Hills!

Know what you mean, Losty...you just get so tired of it.. only thing that keeps me going are my dh (my true soulmate) and the kids. And there is my biggest paranoia..I don't want them to suffer just because I can't cope!

Hello all

Hills, excessive exercise to keep the weight off?

losty you sound like me so much, those were my exact words a couple of weeks ago!

The fighhting it is so difficult you just want to stop, its not really the way to go, call me pot kettle black but its ture,

Hi Mama!

Saying hello to mamama too, then I shall be off!

Yes michaelad I do 20 miles a day!

i have been there.....but the thought of DS not having me there, or having a new mummy, was more awful to contemplate

hey mamama!

what time is it in the US of A???

God!! HOW?? Do you take the los?
I'd take off my hat if there wasn't a compulsive motive behind it, iykwim.

I'm still fighting not to stay there, I'm trying to unconvince myself that I'm doing more harm to my dd's by being here and letting them see me distroy myself other than stopping it now and saving them the pain later on.

Its a horrible place to be in, I self harm alot.

Exactly Lulu..but on the other hand I have also had moments in the past where I thought that everybody is just better off without me. My dh is an ace coper, he just gets on with things..and I felt (feel) like the ball and chain round their ankles.

hi mamama

I am going to forec myself to eat some pasta now. only cos I ahvent eaten since breakdfast

I will be back

thanks for beign so lovely

I am getting all emotional now

I lov e ytou all

big hugs for our friend losty....

Do you have a partner, Hills or is it just you and the girls?