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Original poster

Am IBU that I can't do this anymore

60 replies

Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:16

I'm not in the UK , all family are from Britain. Am I being unreasonable that I'm tired from working 2 jobs to support 4 kiddies and grandaugther and to pay ex for child support because of violence. I'm shattered and just want it to end .

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 12:17

Sounds incredibly tough, but you might need to elaborate a bit Thanks

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:20

Don't know what you mean about elaborate

OP posts:
FuckyNellYaBastad · 29/12/2017 12:22

We need more information Smile

CurryWorst · 29/12/2017 12:22

Well you have to pay child support for your children. We all get tired from doing the same.

Cantuccit · 29/12/2017 12:22

Do the kids live with you or ex?

Why are you supporting a grandchild? Where are its parents?

Who was violent?

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:23

I don't want to be here anymore its too hard

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/12/2017 12:24

I don't understand, are all the children yours? And what do you mean you have to pay child support due to violence, surely child support is paid to well, support your child?

Stillme1 · 29/12/2017 12:26

Do the children live with you or with ExH? I cant understand why you pay ex Child Support unless the children live with him.
Surely your Child Support is relative to your income so give up one job and pay less to ex.
What ages are the children? If one is old enough to have a child of their own they should not be expecting you to pay for the DGC.
You could try having Child Support re-assessed

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:26

I don't want to be here anymore, its too hard working two jobs nd supporting the kiddies and wee grandchild

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 29/12/2017 12:27

Where is here? The country you are in? I'm sorry you need to give more info so people can help.

Sirzy · 29/12/2017 12:28

Why are you supporting your grandchildren?

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:28

I'm in NZ. You pay the main carer when he's violent and you cant get your kids out

OP posts:
birdlover1977 · 29/12/2017 12:28

Are you o.k op? I suggest you get real life support if you are feeling so low.

YellowFlower201 · 29/12/2017 12:29

Op please get real life support. Can you call someone? If not try Samaritans (or equivalent).

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:30

New Zealand

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 29/12/2017 12:30

Whose are the children? Are they yours? Do they love with you? What about the grandchild - are they in your care and why?

I can see it must be difficult working two jobs but we need more info to give any useful advice.

There is support out there!

Can you tell us more?

Bluntness100 · 29/12/2017 12:30

I'm in NZ. You pay the main carer when he's violent and you cant get your kids out

Honestly you either need to give more info or not expect help. Clearly the lAw in New Zealand is not if a man is violent he gets to keep the kids and the mother must pay him so there is more to this.

Fattymcfaterson · 29/12/2017 12:30

No one here can offer real advice without knowing the real problem.

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:32

Done that . Just can't stand he hurt the kids.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 12:33

Who hurt what kids?

Your kids or the grandkids?

Original poster
Surreal18 · 29/12/2017 12:35

When he holds a gun over your head if you take the kids, what do you do

OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 29/12/2017 12:38

OP,

From what I can gather, you have children with a man who is violent. You have left, he has the children and you are paying him as main carer? Not sure about the grandchild at the moment.

Surely, it cannot be the case that if he is violent you have to leave your children with him and pay him the maintenance? I can't see that being the case in NZ?

Do you mean he would not allow you to take the children? What about the police over there - can they help you?

Not sure how it works there but what about your GP equivalent?

PumpkinPie2016 · 29/12/2017 12:39

Just read your update - you need to contact the police!

Violletta · 29/12/2017 12:46

have you managed to get any advice in NZ? this is a predominately UK (as far as i know) site, is there an NZ version you can get some advice from?

on your other post you say you are paying him $1000 a month? someone asked how much you earn, as it would only be that high if you are earning $250,000? and you say he has the children for 8 days a fortnight?

You need to get proper professional legal advice, you're not going to get it here

Violletta · 29/12/2017 12:46

i dont mean to be harsh, but you sound like you are at the end of your tether and you really need some help that we are not qualified to give you