Am IBU that I can't do this anymore

[Surreal18]

I'm not in the UK , all family are from Britain. Am I being unreasonable that I'm tired from working 2 jobs to support 4 kiddies and grandaugther and to pay ex for child support because of violence. I'm shattered and just want it to end .

Yes you are correct. It took me two years to get out with eldest two, young two I had to leave with him because he held gun over head and said if I took them he would pull the trigger. Wee granddaughter is safe here. I just don't know how to get the wee ones out. Police been involved 3 times, wee bit different here :)

Why because that is reality?

Some things don't do anything

I give up.

Have you taken legal advice in New Zealand? Presumably they have the equivalent to us in terms of Family Courts with jurisdiction to decide where the children live?

I couldn't get the wee two ones out because he held a gun over our heads. Done police still doesn't work.

Oh love,, this sounds awful. Why can't the police remove the kids?

What action have the police and Courts taken?

Please don't give up! I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you, but hang in there

This sounds familiar. Have you posted before OP?

I give up as a Mum.

you have the younger ones from time to time when you have them can you not run away with them how old are they

What on earth is going on? He threatened your kids with a gun but nobody can take them and arrest him?

Once because we hide

Giving up as a mum just isn't an option. You got your older 2 out, you will find a way. Your kids need you even if they're not all with you. You're also providing a safe place for your grandchild. Have you got anyone local that can give you some support?

OP I think you need some serious help that no one on here can give you. We can't even offer much advice as you haven't really explained too much of what's going on. If you really are feeling like giving it all up, you need to talk to professionals. Got to your doctor and, regarding the kids, get a good lawyer.

On weekends cause that was all he do so he could benefit. DD is 14 DH 14. I'm not looking for sympathy I just need an answer to get them out

I've explained to those who replied earlier, thanks

Surreal - you sound like you are going through a really difficult time. Are there any other NZ people on here reading this who could offer some advice. I hope you can find some real life help in NZ, social worker? or Helpline as it sounds like you really need some support and legal advice from people who know the situation in your country.

Mumsnetters - please be gentle to Surreal in your replies.

When did he hurt the kids? Have you got it documented?
Is there any domestic violence helplines or centres where you are? a refuge you could go to?

It must be nearly 2.30am in NZ

Why not get some sleep and come back to the thread later?

Thank you for stepping in. No there isn't. I'm a protector not a victim.

Thank you for stepping in. No there isn't. I'm a protector not a victim.

If they're 14 it won't be long until they are adults and can move wherever they like.

You have a Samaritans in NZ.
Could you call them?
Have you tried them before?

I'm not sure what you've tried but womens refuge might be able to help you as well?

You need legal and professional advice.
If the police aren't helping then you need a DV organisation to help you.

Don't give up.
You've done a good thing getting 2 of your DC out of there.
Also getting yourself out. Must have been hard but you did it!
I can't imagine how often you feel let down or feel like giving up.
But you haven't yet. You've kept going. You keep trying.
Don't stop now. Take a breath.
Take a day or 2 to do some investigating on options and then take it from there.
One small step at a time.
You won't solve this in one quick jump.
Slow and steady will win the race.

((((HUGS))))) for you.