Feel i need to make a really difficult choice

[starshaker]

I am currently on citalopram (40mg). I have no motivation, energy or interest in very much. This week I needed to get stuff done so I stopped taking my meds. I managed to get quite a bit done but my mental health is back to being really bad and the thoughts, anxiety and panic attacks are back.

When im on my meds my house is a mess and I just feel meh.
When im off them I get a burst of energy and motivation but then I crash and want to end things.

Hi. Hope you are ok that sounds awful.

Have you had a chat with your GP? It could be that the antidepressants aren't the right ones for you, and they may be able to prescribe a different one?

I've tried loads over the years this is the only ones that work. They would prefer if i was on a higher dose but im on the highest I can be prescribed. Think ill go back on Monday and see if there's anything else.
I hadn't started Christmas shopping, put the tree up of anything and I knew if i came off my meds I would. It worked but im now clinging on till they kick in again. 4 days off is what it takes but then it will take about 10-14days to get back on track

Do you think your MH issues return so badly is because of the withdrawal from suddenly stopping? Do you think it would be worth trying to reduce the dose slowly and seeing how you get on?

N that wouldn't work. It would take longer for me to feel clear again but the bad effects would start before the clarity