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Mental health

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Original poster

Surviving holiday break from therapy

65 replies

redandorange · 15/12/2017 20:59

Anyone else utterly dreading getting through Christmas and New Year without therapy? It just seems like the worst possible time to have a break, although I obviously appreciate that it's completely normal and that wow, they must need it!

I had my last session til January yesterday and now it's almost 3 weeks til the next one. Kind of feeling on the edge at the moment, like I've lost the feeling that it will be ok. Gah.

OP posts:

hevonbu · 16/12/2017 09:52

You will in all likelihood be totally OK. If it gets tough you can always check in here on Mumsnet and get a handhold.

ThisBigSky · 16/12/2017 11:05

Me.

I am on day two of a three week break and my insides are completely flipping out.

I do have the option to e-mail the head of the service though they won't reply until they are back if I'm worried.

Orangecake123 · 16/12/2017 21:27

You're not the only one! It seems like it's the worst possible time to go away.

It's day 2 for me. He comes back in 17 days. Today I've just been ridiculously mad at him.

Original poster

redandorange · 17/12/2017 06:50

hevonbu yes you're right, I will most likely be ok and am very glad to be able to come here for support.

Ah Sky & Orange, it's somehow so reassuring to hear other people are counting down the days, 18 to go here. Perhaps we can keep each other company whilst we wait.

It just feels so unfair to have support taken away at this time of year doesn't it. I miss her so much it hurts, which I know is ridiculous as it's only been a couple of days!

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Ikeptthemwithmebabe · 17/12/2017 10:26

I understand dreading breaks redandorange and others.

For me, it makes me angry at myself - and probably a bit at therapy itself. I hate that I miss contact with my therapist, it makes me feel like a needy child. I don't like feeling dependent. And it drives home that I wish the relationship is more than it is.

There's January's first session sorted!

Do you have a busy holiday period planned?

Original poster

redandorange · 17/12/2017 16:39

Ha! Yeah it certainly brings out lots of stuff to talk about come January! Can relate to everything you've said there. I really hate how much I need her, I feel pathetic and unable to cope like a 'normal' person.

I have a one year old so he keeps me busy, and we have the in laws coming for a few days. Just hoping to get through it. I'm NC with my family so that's hard this time of year and the guilt is setting in big time. Feeling myself shutting down and numbing everything out to cope. Just want it to be over really.

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Orangecake123 · 18/12/2017 17:46

This is my second break and I feel like I'm handling it better than I thought I would as at the moment I still have school and exams to study for which are keeping me busy. My therapist follows the psychodynamic model so I've had feelings of parental transference towards him. Missing your therapist is a completely normal reaction. They are special to special us and the relationship itself is an odd can of beans.

I've booked a massage on Thursdays for the time I usually have my session- so something to look forward to. I go home next week and that's where I feel like I could potentially come undone as it's never really been a home.

Last time I also wrote notes to him in my diary if that would help.

ThisBigSky · 18/12/2017 20:17

Ughk. Almost at the end of Day 4.

I don't miss her per se, but I miss the sessions and the time to offload. I am trying to journal but it's not really working because I am constantly editing my thoughts in case anyone finds my journal... Pointless exercise!

I don't cope well with Christmas so agree with all the sentiments that it's hard to not have support over this period. I'm trying to keep busy, get outside, and, stay the hell away from alcohol...

Hope everyone has a lovely evening - at least after tonight we are one night closer to our next sessions!

Orangecake123 · 20/12/2017 10:22

Struggling with SH urges since yesterday.

13 more days and I'm so tired already. I'm angry and feel like I don't even want to see him when he comes back.

theliterarycat · 20/12/2017 10:27

Hmmm interesting. I never ever miss the therapy when on holiday breaks even though I do like going. I am sure that says a lot about me...

Original poster

redandorange · 20/12/2017 12:45

Ah cat I'd count yourself lucky - it's a painful business!

Orange I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I also struggle with SH, having relapsed after 13 years fairly recently. You have a massage to look forward to tomorrow, right? That's such a great idea. My sessions are usually Thursdays too so that means I also have 13 days to go...

Sky I can't believe someone else edits their own journal in case someone reads it - I do just the same! My perfectionism prevents me from writing at all most of the time - frustrating when people are always saying if you write it down you'll feel better...

I've been seeing her for over a year now, so it's not our first break but I think my attachment to her has intensified massively recently so I guess that's why I'm suffering so badly. Painful painful painful.

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Wishingandwaiting · 20/12/2017 12:48

Sorry not to answer the equation but can I ask how I find your therapy?

I am very worried about a friend but I don’t want to encourage her to go to gp etc if the only option of therapy has to be privately funded, as she could not possibly afford it

Thanks and sorry

Wishingandwaiting · 20/12/2017 12:49

Sorry - how you fund - that should say

Orangecake123 · 20/12/2017 13:41

@Wishing: Privately. £40 for each 50 min session.I've seen him for a year now. I used to see him twice a week, but it's been one session a week for the last 2 months because of my school schedule.

@red. I booked it for yesterday, then today at 12.30 then changed it to 4pm.It's an online system and I personally would be mortified if with my behavior if i had to call personally and cancel but I feel like I don't stick with because part of me doesn't feel like I deserve it. It's kinda hard justifying the extra cost each week on top of everything else.

Original poster

redandorange · 20/12/2017 14:00

Wishing mine is also private, £45 per session. We are not well off at all as a family, but we prioritise it as it's so important, especially since I became a mother. It is definitely worth your friend seeing her GP though, what is available support wise varies greatly from area to area and also depends on what her mental health concerns are.
IME though, long term psychotherapy is almost impossible to access on the NHS. Also might be worth looking into charities that might offer free or low cost counselling. Hope that helps.

orange I can relate, absolutely useless at self care. I hope you do go though, you do deserve it - sounds like things are tough at the mo and a little treat before the madness of Christmas sounds perfect.

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Wishingandwaiting · 20/12/2017 14:13

Thanks so much

GerddwrEryri · 20/12/2017 16:17

Me! Although it's not really a break. I stopped counselling a while back. Cue decline of my MH leading to being picked up by the police suicidal a few weeks back kickstarting me into looking for another counsellor. But she can't see me until Jan. I understand why that's the case but Christmas is just the worst

GerddwrEryri · 20/12/2017 16:21

wishing your local MIND may be a me to help. My one does long term counselling at £10 per session but unfortunately they're in the middle of the day so I can't use them. My colleague lives near another one and hers is free and in the evening and also long term.

Mine will be £40 per 50 min session and is funded privately. It's a lot of money but worth it so we're prioritising it as a family.

MiracleCure · 20/12/2017 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wingingit321 · 20/12/2017 16:28

I have my last session on Friday for 2 weeks. Hate how difficult I find breaks, hate how much I need her. Makes me feel like a needy child too.

EmmaT93 · 20/12/2017 16:30

Me. Today was meant to be my last session until January and I got a call an hour before to say that he’s off sick. I’ve just fallen apart. There was so much that I wanted to offload / get reassurance for over Christmas anxiety and now I’m left hanging.
To him I guess I’m just another patient but to me he’s such an important part of my life and I need him

Wingingit321 · 20/12/2017 16:32

That sounds so hard Emma. I know that I would react in a similar way. Do you journal? Would writing everything out help empty your head a bit?

EmmaT93 · 20/12/2017 20:56

Writing things down helps a little but it’s not the same as an actual conversation.
Will get through it but it’s such a hard time of year to be alone isn’t it?

Original poster

redandorange · 21/12/2017 13:04

Emma that's so tough, I would also totally freak out in that situation. This time of year is the absolute worst in so many ways.

Gerd just bloody awful timing really isn't it! Well done you though for recognising you needed support again and finding another counsellor, it's not easy. Hope you're feeling a little better than you were a few weeks ago

Miracle That's great that you could have a double session and the potential for another of you need it. Mine has offered an extra session on a break before but I couldn't bring myself to let her know I needed her...I was kind of hoping she'd offer again tbh but she didn't. Although she did ask if I needed anything from her, which I can never answer! Writing a diary would help if I can get started, thanks, I'll try it.

Winging at least we're in good company?! I find it a bit reassuring to know it's not just me feeling so awful about it. Validates how hard it is.

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Original poster

redandorange · 21/12/2017 13:07

Usually I would be having my session in 2 hours is it totally weird that I've been on her website just to look at her photo and feel a bit comforted?!

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