Hey all... I can truly sympathise with everything that's been said, I've had anxiety for years and have had two particularly bad patches with it - the last one three years ago was categorised as 'severe'. I have a GAD diagnosis but the issue that makes me most anxious is my health.
Given all that, on the whole I manage pretty well, I hold down a FT managerial level job, have quite a bit of responsibility/things to do volunteering wise and help out with my parents who aren't in the best of health. I take an SSRI and GP has no plans to take me off it (well, joint decision). One thing that is still an ongoing anxiety issue is that I haven't spent the night anywhere other than home for at least 3.5 years. Also, it's been a particularly stressful year for reasons that anyone would find difficult to cope with. I have no DP to share the load and no DC to contend withdistract me, much as I would like.
I've had a mini meltdown tonight as I've been poorly since Christmas Eve with a cold/virus from hell. I've felt awful, been stuck in bed all of the 25th-27th and a lot of yesterday and today. When I write it down I suppose it doesn't seem that long but it's felt like forever and it's just been such a miserable Christmas. I struggle with Christmas anyway as I've had a couple of bad ones anxiety wise over the last 7 or 8 years so now by association I somewhat dread it and therefore try to block any festive thoughts out and pretend it's not happening during December.
Early December I felt so low for a couple of weeks without any apparent reason - kind of like I occasionally feel PMT wise, like non stop crying without a particular reason...? I even checked my period app but I still had about 9 days to go. Funnily enough when it did start the low feeling lifted (I did wonder whether this was a potential peri menopause symptom), but I had only a few days before I came down with this bug.
I'm still full of snot, my head feels like it's going to explode and I can feel a funny sore throat and an odd kind of itch/sensation of swelling - even though I don't look like I am - under my jaws. I then felt like I was going to shake from head to toe although my temperature was normal and has been throughout it all. With that I escalated into an anxiety peak and started thinking something awful was going to happen to me. I'm tired and thoroughly fed up that I'm still not well and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel (I'm very impatient). It was awful, I sobbed and sobbed which made me even more snotty, and felt physically bad all over. Got through to a friend who helped me with chatting through stuff and went and had a shower.
I'm scared of having another major meltdown and of this bug 