It's too much. I can't try and work this out any more.

[colouringinagain]

Separated a year. OH finally bipolar II diagnosis. Suspect Aspergers traits. After lying to me for 9 mths told me actually he didn't have had to go away when I was suicidal, he just didn't think he could help. Watches me cry but says nothing. Dcs miss him lots. Me lonely on a Sat night. Don't want to wake up tomorrow.

You’re not alone OP . You’d be surprised how many people feel like you but aren’t brave enough to say it.

Are you divorcing? You deserve better than you’ve described and it’s affecting your entire wellbeing. Do you have any support?

Thanks Budecah.

I do have support but all my friends are married. We've been together 25 yrs and I switch daily from it's over to is there a chance. It's exhausting and tedious