Money ☹

[emmalucy27]

Hi I am new to this site, nice to meet you all. I'm looking for some advice and support. I am being induced in two weeks and me and my are split up for a while as im in a mother and baby unit. My big concern is i have made a budget before baby comes and for months have thought we're not going to cope. After we have paid all bills, we are left with £600 a month, do you think we would struggle? I am terrified.

If you are 100% sure on this OP, then I really do wish you well and hope you are getting the support you need. If finances, or your DP are factoring into this desicion, you may regret it. Mental health problems are common, and they improve. My first was a surprise, and we did not have a pot to piss in, much less money than you. That child is of to uni next year and has been a blessing. Think carefully. You have no idea how you will feel when the baby is born.

Are you on a section of the mental health act? I hope the doctors are helping you and not letting make any rash decisions that are being made due to your illness

@emma. Hand on your heart is this what you really want to do? Give your daughter up. Don't answer what anyone else believes but what you truly feel disregarding any money worries also?

Yes this is what I truly feel, I have not bonded with her in anyway, its what's best for everyone xx

Hopefully the foster to adoption system, and her being a baby, will provide her with a great home x

emma you sound so scared and resigned. Are you talking to staff at the unit? Having counselling? Are you being 100% honest about your fears?
Was your baby planned?
Do you have family or any support other than your partner?
You need love and support now more than you've ever needed it before - I hope you are feeling supported and that you don't feel alone with this.

@emma I honestly respect your decision, but I still noticed you used the word 'everyone'.

I just wanted to say, that I too believed that my DD would be better off with someone else although she was a lot older. I was in a very bad place, I did although albeit far from overnight get better! so just wanted to give you that hope.

Also I'm not ashamed to admit either that with any of my children I never got that rush of love like what your told your supposed to feel.

I only saying this as want you to know you not alone in some of the things you going through.

Me, like everyone else here only want to see you do wants best for you and your daughter, not what everyone else thinks.

You take care of yourselves and if I could give you a hug right now I would.

I hope you don't take my posts any other way than someone who genuinely cares about you, even though I just internet stranger.

Thank you so much everyone x

I feel sick to my stomach 😭

Hi OP,

We're really sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time of it at the moment. We just wanted to link to our Mental Health webguide, in case you might find it useful. We're going to move the thread over to our Mental Health topic, where we hope you'll continue to receive wonderful support.

Thankyou xx

@emma what's up?

Honestly you’ll be perfectly fine just budget that’s £150 a week I’m sure that’s more than enough

emma do you still want to talk on here? It’s ok if you don’t, but I hope that someone is listening and hearing you.

I'm still talking on here. X

There's more mental health issues involved aswel as money. I told my partner if I was to take her home I wouldnt be able to cope I would have neglected or left. I'm trying to do what's best for her. My partner is struggling through all this aswel. X

Emma can't you have the baby then take her back to the mother and baby unit with you to see what it would be like? You might change your mind about wanting to give her up

I can do that, but that's not what we want.

Op, you will cope £600 a month not including food should be plenty. I know what it's like to suffer with anxiety and I know money is a big trigger for me (always worry I won't be able to pay for things). You can budget, put money into different pots/envelopes/accounts for different things so you know what you have got and you know you have everything covered.

Please don't think your child will be better off in care, depression and anxiety sucks but things can and will get better.

She's going into care next week

Do you have to make the decision right now? Can you try to keep your options open for as long as possible?

I think in all honestly that it's not so much what you want, it's what your partner wants.
Are there are substance abuse issues at all? Apologies if I'm completely wrong of course.
This just doesn't sound right at all.

There are single mums in this country having less than £600 a month for everything. You must know that the money is enough, unless there are things you aren't telling us.

I love spending but even I could cope with that for myself,partner and 2 kids.

No if anything my partner wanted to keep at his sisters. And no we don't take anything. We have made the decision but it can change on the day, I am being induced next week

I hope you're taking all the chances you can of counselling. Pre-birth is a scary time, and you might feel differently after the baby is here. Just give yourself the permission to be able to make up your mind later. You don't need to know everything right now. One day at a time.