I married young to a man who as he was older seemed very sophisticated and mature. However I soon discovered that he was rather immature in a lot of ways. I realise now that he is emotionally distant not just with me but with his children too, this is worse as they've got older. We have little in common and barely talk. There is always an atmosphere in the house as he irritates me a lot mainly because he is so boring and set in his ways. And I probably irritate him just as much. I know I sound like a bitch and fundamentally he isn't a bad person but he has zero get up and go and has minimum interest in me or his children. He won't take any major decisions so I have all the stress of that. He took early retirement as he was planning to start his own business but I realise now that was all pie in the sky. I meanwhile work full time and I'm beginning to think I've wasted my life. I had a troubled upbringing with a violent parent and I've always been anxious and prone to depression. This came to a head a couple of years ago when I was suicidal and went to the doctors. I was on anti depressants but came off them two months ago as they gave me terrible memory loss. Since then quite honestly I'm probably unbearable to live with. I'm really angry that I wasted my life on a marriage that's a sham and because of this I end up taking my temper out on the kids. I don't know what to do I think I'm going mad! I feel my children are disappointments as they're all like their father, no initiative, lazing about all day etc. I don't talk about my past with my children although my husband knows. Should I divorce him? I feel guilty about this but don't see how I can continue living this way. During an argument I told him I wanted us to split up but he said he would never leave the house.
What are my options
?