I wish I could replace my brain.

[cpjoli]

I cannot get the thought of ending it all out of my head. The rational part of me is getting weaker and the pathetic excuses I come up with for not doing it.
I don't want to do it again but then I'm so tired of my thoughts and emotions.
I don't know what to do with it all.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Apologies if it sounds simplistic but
Have you been to your GP about it?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

All the very best from MNHQ