Has anyone succeeded in overcoming their driving anxiety?

[user1473069303]

Hi,

I'm 39 years old and have been learning to drive for the past couple of years. It has been apparent from the beginning that I'm anxious and nervous about driving, something that I never expected would happen (even though I am a worrier by nature). I just assumed I'd do the lessons, take the test (however many times), and that would be it. I wasn't interested when I was younger and now bitterly regret it.

My problems are:

• When I know I'm going to drive, I start to get nervous
• On the day I'm going to be driving, I'm in and out of the toilet beforehand (TMI, sorry!)
• Once in the car it isn't so bad as I'm busy concentrating on the road, although I can feel tense at the wheel
• I'm pink in the face after a drive
• If I make a mistake I feel ashamed and ruminate over it for hours afterwards

I've done over 3000 miles of accompanied driving and about 40 hours of lessons. No accidents so far apart from a scratch on one of the wheel trims. I've definitely improved and encountered many different scenarios, which has been brilliant but my real problem is my stress/anxiety/nerves, which I need to get under control. I don't want to give up on driving, as I know I'd only regret it later. It's also enjoyable at times, in spite of my nerves.

Has anyone tried hypotherapy or yoga?

I've tried homeopathy and rescue remedy but they haven't worked on me.

I don't want to go in for my test yet as I don't think it would be a good idea. I'm not in the UK, and the system here is more complicated. If I fail the first test, I'm no longer "priority" for a second or third try. It can take a few months before you can try again. The driving schools decide who gets tested. So that's an added pressure.

If you've read this far, thank you - and I'd be interested to hear your stories.

Something else. Never drive with people in the car who are there to judge you. It will make you feel as if you are doing an exam, will tense you up and you will be much more prone to making mistakes. First drive alone a lot in far off, deserted streets, practice reverse parking etc..then go into busier areas to gain confidence. But never drive with assholes who are watching your every move like a hawk.

Been driving 10 years and I'd always rather someone else did it. I'm not shit at driving I'm shit at life. Like everything I worry about when driving I could equally worry about pushing a shopping trolley .

Hi ravenclaw22, I hope you've managed to give the lessons a try - you never know, you may be fine once behind the wheel!

I think the best thing is to be frank with the instructor - tell him or her how you're feeling. And remember the instructor's there to stop you doing stupid things, which we all do when we're learning.

Hi Anatidae, I'm an OK driver now. It's taken me a lot of time to get there but my DH is fine when he's with me and doesn't understand why I don't put in for the test. I also had a new instructor for a couple of hours who was filling in for my usual instructor and she said I should start thinking about it. She also said that she felt safe in the car with me. A rare compliment that has done me the world of good!

I think that dialling down the anxiety is achievable but it will depend on getting out there regularly, which hasn't been easy recently. I haven't been out for a while and can feel the fear creeping back.

Hello Madreputa, yes, I think my next car will be an auto! For the moment, I'm still reimbursing the loan on a manual which I intend to keep for a while at least. The gear changes aren''t so bad, it's more the hill starts that give me the fear! I can see the attraction of autos, especially these days what with the roads being much busier.

Once I pass the test (one day...) I intend to take the car out at wierd o'clock and practice, practice, practice. My DH is pretty cool but certain other road users can get impatient very quickly, which adds an additional layer of pressure. It shouldn't but it does.

Hi Comps83, I'm sure you're not shit at life! We're all only human. And kudos for having driven all these years!