Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Easiest way to run away from home.

120 replies

11122aa · 18/04/2017 23:07

Hi. Im 20 and with autisum which means i cant quite dress and wash myself . But i cant stay at home any longer. My parrents will always claim they not abuseive so i cant just get housing anymore. What do i do.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2017 23:36

I'm not trying to interrogate you, it's just that you have said two different things (that you don't have complex needs and that you would need to be looked after) and people can only help if they know what support you would need

Moanyoldcow · 18/04/2017 23:37

How can you dress but not hold a towel? That's ridiculous. Of course you can. You may need practice and confidence but if you can study law and are not physically impaired in some way you can learn self-care.

If you are at uni then you are leaving the house. Use a free period to contact Social Services. If you have to, skip a class to see them. Get organised and get out. You can do it.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2017 23:38

He's already done it apparently but they don't believe him

NameSame · 18/04/2017 23:41

Hi OP.
When are you next in uni
You could arrange a private meeting with a personal tutor or the safeguarding person.
You could even just present yourself to a member of your faculty and explain you need help.
Asking for help and flagging up abuse whilst you're at uni, a safe place away from home, is the best way to go.
Or alternatively present at A&E, MIU or a Police Station if you feel you're at high risk.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/04/2017 23:41

You can learn to improve at some motor skills. If you are able to dress then holding a towel isn't far off - infact dressing is probably a more advanced skill.
Don't be disheartened by social services not taking you seriously - regardless you need to contact them. The first port of call should be your university's student services team. Have you spoken with them?

yellowfrog · 18/04/2017 23:42

What is it with washing your hair you struggle with? Is it long hair, or short hair? Longer hair is trickier, but I'm sure between us here we can give you some tips!

Beeziekn33ze · 18/04/2017 23:46

I think a shower would help as hair washing, especially short hair, is easy in a shower. If you get a towelling robe to wear you won't need to hold a towel. If you do need to hold a towel around your waist to wash get someone (mum?) to sew Velcro on so it stays in place.
Try to look at your problems separately, one at a time, you'll find you can get things done more easily than you expect. Good luck.

SheSaidHeSaid · 18/04/2017 23:46

I remember your previous posts too, OP.

There is help out there, prison isn't the answer. You're an adult at the end of the day, your uni should respect your want for confidentiality.

11122aa · 18/04/2017 23:47

Short hair.

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 18/04/2017 23:51

Do you think that if you were able to display more coping strategies that your parents would ease up a bit?

Also did you join any societies at Uni as suggested?

user1471506380 · 18/04/2017 23:51

Is this of any interest/ help? www.autism.org.uk/supportoptions. I have an adult son with aspergers who has a lot of problems.

GinAndTunic · 18/04/2017 23:52

I have serious doubts about the credibility of this thread -- and I say that as someone with autism.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2017 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JoinTheMicrodots · 18/04/2017 23:53

Who helps you wash at the moment?

How are your parents abusive?

SparklyUnicornPoo · 18/04/2017 23:53

Running away from home is a bad idea, trust me, its scary and lonely. You really need to talk to social services and your tutor, they can't just decide they don't believe you.

Would it help you to talk through what exactly it is that's happening at home to make you feel like this?

SalemSaberhagen · 18/04/2017 23:58

I'm afraid that I agree Gin

PickAChew · 19/04/2017 00:00

Agreeing with everything that Sparkly says.

Your instinct may be, quite understandably, to run off, but it's not likely to be the best or safest option. You need to talk to a trusted adult and ask for help to be directed to the right services. You might end up talking to several people before you find someone who can help you properly and now, but that process needs to start somewhere.

Floggingmolly · 19/04/2017 00:14

How does someone get to uni to study law, who accepts that it's "too late" to learn how to wash and dress themselves? Hmm
If your parents have to wash and dress you every morning; you can see why they'd have concerns about you living alone? I won't say independently, because it appears you're not?? Seriously?

11122aa · 19/04/2017 16:14

I cant live with them anymore they ar destryoing me. But as i cant live on my own and they will always say i am a fantasit i really dont have anything else to live for. I hate my life.

OP posts:
Hesdeadjim · 19/04/2017 16:24

WHat specifically are they doing to make you feel this way?

11122aa · 19/04/2017 16:33

I cant even drop out of uni because then i wont be able to ever go back as ive done two years. And my diablities will stop me getting a bank loan.

OP posts:
11122aa · 19/04/2017 16:33

Abusing me verbally. Controlling me. Making me want to kill him because i hate him so much,

OP posts:
11122aa · 19/04/2017 16:40

disabilties.

OP posts:
AddALemon · 19/04/2017 16:47

Confused so your studying law which lets face it you have to be pretty intelligent to study, however you can't hold a towel but you can dress yourself, if you want to get into law then you have to have a bit of something about you and be able to stand on your own two feet, why don't you try staying in a hotel room for a night, see if you can do things for yourself? I don't think killing anyone is the answer and anyone in their right mind would see that.

Ive reported this post because it doesn't sit well with me. You definitely need help but face to face help with social services or somebody at university.

11122aa · 19/04/2017 16:52

I wouldnt be abllowed to stay in a hotel room. If i tried they get the police invovled who my dad has presauded that i am crazy and they will soon arrest me or section me.

OP posts: