When you've sunk so deep

[Knittedfrog]

Do you ever sink so deep you feel there's no way back?
So much is going wrong right now I can't see a way out.
Depression, stress, anxiety it's all taken a hold of me.
My situation isn't going to change or improve.
I know if I wasn't here my family would take care of my daughter in a way that I can't at the moment.
I wish I could just wave a magic wand and magic me and my daughter into a new life.
Sorry for rambling, no sleep again and no good. Spend all my time worrying.

sand, sorry I just read back and must have missed your post.
He's not working. He took redundancy against my advice and then told me he'd spent all the money.
That's why I desperately want the house sold, we can't afford it. I start a job soon but it's not great pay so it won't help keep the house.
I have a thread in divorce/separation so get a bit muddled as to what I've put where!
My mum is going to explain everything to my sister. There is an awful lot that has gone on for years. I've told her to tell her everything.
There are times I feel quite strong and then a big cloud descends over me and I feel physically sick at what might happen.
I definitely want out but can't be saddled with half a mortgage at the same time.
I hate my life right now.

Ah, I see that makes sense sorry.

Just been doing the figures and even if I can get out of here into a rental I literally won't be able to eat.
Just taken 100 steps backwards. I'm a useless parent and of no good to anybody. I hate this life.

Been there RE not being able to afford to eat. It's shit, DH used to poach fish and steamed stinging netles are actually quite tasty and nutritious. Definately try citizens advice, to see if theres anything available that you don't know about. Food banks can be a life saver, GPs, CPNs and SWs can refer you although its not a long term solution.