Please can someone help diagnoses playing on my mind. Aspergers and BPD

[Bluefluff]

Hi everyone

Getting myself into a bit of a mess here trying to get my head around my diagnosis.

As a teenager I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. This diagnosis was given after extensive assessments by CAMHS

Last year after leaving an abusive relationship I had issues with my mental health mainly extreme anxiety / panic, normal response to dv right?

I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. Ok, I can relate to the criteria to be honest it is like reading about myself. But the more i look into my Asperger's syndrome I realise that all the things i ticked the boxes for to get a borderline personality disorder diagnosis can be due to the Asperger's.

So maybe I don't have BPD after all? It's all really affecting my sense of who I am I'm under the secondary mental health team. I have a mental health support worker. When I mention it she just looks at me a bit clueless

Is she clueless or does she give you the impression you are clueless?

Lots of women with aspergers are wrongly diagnosed with bpd but from what I understand it's usually because autistic women present with some bpd characteristics and the label is the closest fit for someone who doesn't understand autism in women. Did the person diagnosing know you are autistic?

She says she doesn't think I'm autistic cos I communicate too well, tried to explain to her that I've had this diagnosis years, got great at adapting to fit in etc etc, also in high functioning so can see where I'm different and can mask it well, almost like I'm acting.

Yes I told psychiatrist but I didn't think he took much notice, BPD diagnosis felt like a knee jerk reaction .

But now there trying to treat me for BPD and won't acknowledge that I'm autistic

Have you found useful books about Asperger's? DP was diagnosed as a mature adult and got a lot of help from reading books about different aspects of Asperger's/Autism.

The National Autistic Society: www.autism.org.uk has a really good helpline too and they can help you find counsellors who understand Autism.

Neome I've done some research into it over the years and think I've got a basic understanding will have a look at that link thank you.

What I'm struggling with is the DV has made some symptoms a lot more obvious , some that were well controlled previously , e.g. Anxiety, panic, I've ended up severely agoraphobic, crazy mood swings sudden anger big highs and lows. Overwhelmed suddenly.

And I don't know how to get back under control I'm stuck in a huge rut!

My support worker asked me 'can you manage your money'

Yes!! I obsess over budgeting, I have a notepad full of all my sums for the weeks months days , being in control of numbers makes me feel better. It becomes an obsession. I can tell you exactly how much is coming out on what date, what my bank balance should be in 2 months time on a certain date. If I can't sit down and do my budgeting right when I want it causes agitation and anxiety.

She hears 'yes I can manage money'

DP also has major problems with anxiety. It's very draining for him managing the effects of his Autism and I know he gets very frustrated when people dismiss it.

I'm wondering if anyone has tried a similar path to you and written about it.

It may be that your previously controlled symptoms will take a long time to settle and you might find Autism aware support more useful than something else.

I have experienced DV and it took years to reach a place of relative calm in my mind.

DP does some of what you describe with money. He gets very anxious about it.

I think you might be right, the worker said to me well if you don't have any mental health problems (don't they count severe anxiety and agoraphobia?) then I don't know where that leaves you as you don't have a social care need as you can wash dress and feed yourself

I get enhanced rate daily care pip

There appears to be a gap in the system

I should point out when she said that I hadn't showered for 5 days and had been in the same pyjamas for those 5 days, she could see that, I told her that, it was 4pm and I hadn't eaten yet that day. But I could have easily sat for 3 hours working money out! But because I don't have a physical disability which prevents me from washing and dressing it doesn't count?

Domestic violence services won't work with me as they say I'm not in a place to engage with them as my mental health isn't managed

Sorry I was distracted by 3 year old waking last night. DP has been in the very gap you describe, we are having yet another try at climbing out if it. Do PM me, I've got to go to a hospital appointment now but absolutely on your side and will be in touch later

Women with Aspergers can be misdiagnosed with BPD, so I'd stick with your original diagnosis. It's sadly not at all unusual to get a psych who doesn't understand or have experience of how ASD presents in women.

So you've got a mental health team who don't acknowledge your ASD, gave you a spurious diagnosis of BPD without checking if your symptoms could be accounted for by your (well-evidenced and thoroughly evaluated) ASD, and aren't offering you appropriate treatment, and this is causing you to have problems accessing other services you need?

Yep, sounds about right.

Do you have any records or reports relating to your ASD diagnosis? If not, you can make a subject access request to the trust where you were assessed so you've got some information re: your ASD to show to your current team - ideally they should already have access to it, but meh. They need to understand that you unequivocally have Asperger's and that your treatment should take those needs into account. Then when they've offered and given you appropriate treatment, you should be able to show the DV service that you're receiving appropriate treatment.