What happened to the mental health support village?

[sadandanxious]

I'm sure a while ago there was a thread running for mental health support - a sort of supportive village where we could all come and talk about our mental health worries or just general life and feel safe and supportive. I posted under a different name back then and can't seem to find it any more.

Does anyone else remember it or have I just imagined it? Either way, would anyone else be up for it? Perhaps a yurt would be a safer, more comfortable place than a village?

Try not to worry about everyone else Ohfucks. They probably all have their own demons and things going on too.

I think of the physical benefits of the sun - increasing my vitamin D, seratonin and melatonin levels. Solar therapy ☀️

Knitted so sorry that things with the house are so bleak. I can't imagine how terrible it is to have your sanctuary and settled life ripped away like this. You know you're welcome here whenever you feel able to, whether there is a glimmer of light or not. You are always deserving of help and support.

Joto hope the photo shoot goes well! It sounds a lovely thing to do for Mother's Day.

Thanks anxious. I'm laughing at myself cos I'm the least girly person in terms of makeup and clothes yet I've packed half my bloody wardrobe 😂😂😂😂

Oh fucks anxious is right I may love the sunshine and feel fab in it but last night I was mid panic attack. Maybe just sitting in the sun and feeling the warmth on your face would be a gentle start xxx

Sorry guys - that was a really negative thing for me to come out with. Yes, I am sure you're all right. My daughter's a summer baby and loves the sun.

So sorry to hear about your issues knitted I had to leave my home last summer, rented but was still very tricky - can't imagine how difficult it must be if its our own.

Don't be sorry!!! My OH gets cross at me apologising for myself. And he's right!!!! Xx

I remember the village and hello Lem, Keema and Colouringin - I used to be nananina. I haven't read the whole thread there may be other "villagers" - I too was SO saddened at Fluffy's death. I've been wondering about a woman who was a wheelchair user and was having a tough time (sorry I can't recall her name) and Pyraghena too I recall and "My Spidey Sense Tickles" - things are much the same for me - I still have totally unpredictable days of depression (some severe) and then eventually they clear. My life is pretty much closed down as I can't make arrangements as I never know if I will have to cancel and that makes me feel bad. My DP is a rock and I don't know what I'd do without him, so supportive, practically and emotionally.

I still have my lovely CPN and see the psych ever couple of months. I think I've worked my way through the entire pharmaceutical options, none of which bring my lasting relief. Colouring so sorry to hear life is so crap for you - I know you and H were "hanging on by a thread" in the past. When I have time I will go back and see if there is anyone else on the thread. I'm happy to start a new VILLAGE thread. Ah just recalled the original one was stated by "Vicarinatutu" but I know her situation has changed. Glad things are better for you LEM and often think about you Keema and your droll sense of humour. Ah it was "Edwinia's Revenge" who used to crochet.

Silverypussycat I found you!! How are you - doesn't sound too good. I think you were on the point of moving when you were on the village thead.
Just realised I'm barging into the YURT thread - sorry folks.

snowymouse remembered. Would love to hear from you.

Do you mind me popping my head in? I didn't post on the original village thread, but had chatted with fluffy before. I was so said to hear she'd passed away. (I was previously dontrunwithscissors.)

I started with PND after DD2 7 years ago when I was 34. I'd never experienced any form of mental illness before this. It morphed into bipolar and I've never recovered. It's got worse by the year. It's 7 years tomorrow since I had an emergency appointment at the CMHT. I was admitted to a mother and baby unit on April 1st. I went downhill so quickly. I still remember walking into the CMHT that first time. It has a horrible musty smell in there--even now the smell hits me when I walk in and it makes me shudder.

I'm in the process of reducing one of my meds as it's making me feel numb and robotic. My pdoc and CPN both jumped when I said I wanted to do this, but I'd rather feel low (as I am a bit at the moment) than feel nothing.

Sorry, that's not a very cheery thread! I always feel so sad at this time of year as I mourn for my 'old' life where I didn't have to worry where my mind is going to go next.

Oh I remember you scissors - I used to be nananina - so sorry that you've had such a gruelling time and so unfortunate as PND usually clears up. Can I ask what meds you are on and what you are reducing. It's so difficult with meds isn't it - knowing whether they are doing any good or not.

I relapsed with a major depression in 2010 and have not made a complete recovery - 8 years this autumn but I'm 73 and you are a young woman with young children, so it's going to be so much worse for you. Is there any bipolar in the family?

I think I've worked my way through the entire pharmaceutical options, none of which have bought lasting relief. I'm currently on Mirtazapine, Lithium and Vortioxetine with diazepam when needed. That works well for anxiety but depression is my main problem and it comes and goes - I never know how I am going to wake up.

I know what you mean about mourning for your old life - how do you cope with children - hope you have a supportive DH or DP and RLsupport. Mental illness is a torment for sure.

Hi catrina, I remember you too. I'm sorry you're still suffering.

I'm on Quetiapine, agomelatine, lamotrgine, carbamazepine and lorazepam PRN. It's the carbamazepine that's causing the problems. I started it a year ago when I was admitted with a psychotic depressive episode. It helps with the depression in the sense that I can't feel anything. Along with the weight gain (which has never been a problem with any other med), I feel like it's too big a compromise. I can't spend another year looking at the DDs and not feeling anything.

There's no history of any mental illness in my family--not even a whiff of depression. I believe that it was the ADs that triggered the bipolar. They made everything so much worse.

It's become clear that I have very strong/unusual reactions to meds. Im now on 1275mg of Quetiapine. The licensed maximum dose is 800mg, but I had my blood serum levels checked. It was 4, whereas the normal range is 100-500. So I'm barely absorbing any of the Quetiapine, yet it definitely helps my mood. My pdoc is mystified by how it's possible. In the past, medical professionals had dismissed my opinion that I have unusual reactions to meds. They told me it was impossible. So I feel getting these Quetiapine results through has confirmed what I believed all along.

My DH was made redundant 18 months ago and we made the decision that he will be a SAHD for the foreseeable future. (DDs are 10 and 7). It's made a big diffenece as it means I can work without the added stress of doing the child-related stuff. I've generally been a lot better, but this is always a bad time of year.

OMG that's a ton of meds you're on. I haven't heard of most of them - are they mostly anti psychotic as they don't sound like ADs. It's so difficult to describe depression (or psychosis I'm sure) as we only know how it affects us, and someone else might be having a very different experience. You mention weight gain - I've put on 2 stone over the years and whatever I try to do makes no difference but I'm not overly worried about that really.

I have been offered quetiapine as it can help decrease depression but haven't tried it yet. I was SO horrendously depressed about 18 months ago that the psych was willing me to try ECT. I researched it thoroughly and signed the consents and had the tests etc but backed out at the 11th hour. I was scared of memory loss and the information from the Royal College of Psychiatrists didn't make sense, as they were saying permanent memory loss was low at 1 in 10!!! I don't call that low! Has anyone ever suggested it for you?

It's good that you're able to work and have DH do all the household stuff. This is a bad time of year for me too - on both occasions I was admitted to the psych ward was in March.

Quetiapine is the only antipsychotic. Lamotrgine and carbamazepine are mood stabilisers. Agomelatine is a new-ish antidepressant. Although they are all taken for depression. I don't get high mood any more. I can't remember the last time I did.

ECT hasn't been suggested and to be honest, I don't think I would ever have it--although I've pretty much ran out of meds to try.

Hi guys I haven't read the full thread but read some and read about the loss you guys have suffered ☹️

I'm really struggling ATM but don't really feel worthy enough of my own thread. I just feel awful and I'm not currently on meds but open to the idea I may need to be. Ironically I work on an acute mental health ward helping others who are in need of mental health support. I'm currently tipsy trying to help my depression and although it's numbed it now I know I will feel awful in the morning. 🙁 Hope you guys are coping this evening and sorry for bombarding this thread I just hate feeling alone

Hi paperstars - you really do need to get some help - you don't need me or anyone else to tell you that do you - really? Please don't take offence but I don't think you should be helping people on a MH ward when you are feeling so ill yourself. And I know many people self medicate with alcohol, you just end up with 2 problems,MH and drink problem. Do you know what's stopping you seeing your GP or someone on the MH ward to get medication?

Morning all

catrina and toast welcome "back"! It's so heartening to see people from the old village finding each other again.

paperstars hello. Of course you are 'worthy' of your own thread, if you want one, although I understand not wanting to - given your background it sounds like you have recognised what's going on for you and pretty much know what the options for help/treatment are - I will write my own thread if I am looking for advice or to discuss something specific but here, we can all just support each other. Solidarity. You're not bombarding, you're most welcome. Pull up a Fluffy cushion or a bench by the fire (and have one of ohfucks' rabbits for a cuddle!) and settle in.

FWIW I don't think there's a problem with you working in mental health whilst you are unwell yourself, at all. I volunteer in a role that supports people in crisis, and my professional job gives me access to pretty much any pharmaceutical I wanted if I was so inclined to abuse my position. My disorders don't mean I can't do those jobs safely and well. Rates of mental health issues are very high - if we excluded everyone who suffered depression, or was taking medication from the caring professions the NHS would be a lot more stuffed than it already is! Also numbing yourself for an evening is not the same as full blown alcoholism, and you are also aware that it's what you're doing, I wouldn't worry too much about dependency issues at the moment from what you've written here anyway.

You say you're open to the idea of meds. Have you been on anything before?

Hope that the hangover (and the "alcohol fear" - remember that's all it'll be!) isn't too bad this morning.

As for me, I'm muddling along this weekend. I've got DP back although he is on alert to get called back in if anything else kicks off. He's shattered and we just want to have a chilled day together. I'm finding myself keep getting overwhelmingly tired and falling asleep, even though my mood is generally fairly buzzy, I'm guessing the drowsiness/sleepiness is the increase in sertraline. I'm now on day 3? I think of the 'max' dose the psych team wanted me to go to. Plan A is to keep on with the daily mood tracking, and see my GP in another few months maybe. Keep going to support group and the new CBT will probably start before then as well.

Morning everyone, another day. yesterday was really quite rubbish. Had my first at home CMHT visit but it was a weekend team so will start properly and meet my regular people on Monday. I found it hard to let my defences down with them and was very breezy and 'cheerful' and once they left I was pacing around, broke down and kept hitting myself against a wall and grabbed a knife:( I'm not sure I understand why it upset me so much, because whilst they were here I felt fine.

Took myself out of the house after that to look at pet shops, although was very static and emotional - I must have looked crazy on the train, restless and stamping feet. spent the evening setting up an indoor rabbit pen and making lots of enrichment activities with hay and baskets and toilet roll and cardboard, and protecting skirting boards. Then I sat up all night with a knife again :( Didn't stop . I've always had rescue animals in the past, but might just grab a couple of buns today. This is an emergency.

I thought I had today booked as holiday, but my part time job were texting me last night to see if I could come in all day, or have put me in for a few hours this afternoon. I can't afford to just not work but I don't feel functioning.

More self-absorption. How's everyone else doing?

My daughter has made a lovely card and flowers and a certificate saying I'm worlds best mum. Such a messy one though.

Happy Mother's Day all :)

Not self-absorption at all. Your daughter's card sounds adorable!

Are CMHT coming today as well? Perhaps you could talk to them about the bunny idea. Ask them to help you work out how rational it is.

I find knives..... something, I don't know the word. I have obsessive intrusive thoughts about self harm and knives both terrify and comfort me at the same time. I only have 1 in the kitchen now and keep it at the very back of the drawer. I feel safer that way. Removes the threat/temptation.

Although I have lots of thoughts about harming myself, I have only ever used sort of drip methods, neglect or putting myself in harms way. The problem is just pressing it into my skin soothed me instantly - and that is quite rightly terrifying because it's not a pattern I want to begin, and the fact that I returned to it in the night.

I think I seemed balanced at the time so they said they would just see me on Monday. They gave me a number for out if hours.

I had rabbits till a few years ago, it's been a long term plan that we'll do it at some point and DH us on board, and have landlords permission so don't think it's too crazy... But good point on checking in with them. I was happy enough last night setting up the pen and putting some rabbit soft toys in there

Thanks for being around guys

Morning yurtees and it's a beautiful one. Quick chat with son in OZ and now sat in hot tub soaking up some sun. Felt low on waking but yesterday was quite tiring and today I miss my boy (well every day) but I can't give him a big hug when he's at the other side of the world. Will see son 2 tomorrow so he can give me double hugs 😊😊

Morning all. I'm glad that the yurt is still here. Apologies for going metaphorically awol for a bit.

Joto it is indeed a beautiful morning. I am planning to go for a walk with my friend in the park when she arrives here - she's due any minute.

Ohfucks sorry you are having scary thoughts. Is the ooo number 24/7? I have the sense that the yurt is a safe place if your thoughts are scary. We are here.

In good news I've got my flip flops with me now(!) in case anyone remembers how worried I was about that. I have got some nice food for lunch as an alternative to ward food, and some clean and comfy clothes and a few home comforts. I'll be okay for today. Am taking it slowly.

Hi erin yurt is still here, safe and cosy. Now with extra rabbits . Glad you got your flip flops lol! Hope your showers are easier now, sounds like things are a bit more settled with food and clothes and stuff. Taking things slowly a day at a time sounds like a plan. Are they still talking about the crisis house?

We've had a good day overall. I had a small panic in the garden centre earlier but otherwise generally ok. DP just said thankyou for a lovely weekend together so I must have done something right I guess.

Ooh, I missed the rabbits. Lovely.

Sounds as if you had a good weekend with your DP. I had a lovely day overall - went for a walk in the park with a good friend, and did some painting. Ward round tomorrow so we shall see what next steps look like then. Glad of the yurt, whatever the outcome of the ward round.

to all yurtees.