Recovering from dysfunctional childhood

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My mother was an alcoholic my father angry, sometimes violent. The impact of this is still playing out in my life today. I am unable to cope work conflicts and frequently get involved in unhealthy relationships with other people. I'd like to address this but it all feels very deep rooted and I don't know where to begin.

I totally sympathise. I don't have any answers but I have the same. I was in the mental health system as a teenager. Recently I had a breakdown and went to my GP in the first instance. They sent me fir assessment at the hospital and then I was under the care of the psychiatric team. I underwent CPD for a while. They tried to help. In the end, I went to a private therapist, but I am thankful for what the NHS tried to do for me.

Plot,
I know one should never ask a lady her age.., but...

It would help to understand where you are as part of trying to offer advice. Also some backgrouund such as children, partners,stc..

I just turned forty. I have two kids and a husband. I've had some therapy in the past but it was very much focussed on an abusive relationship I was in. I used to think it was the root of all my issues, now I can see that it was just a symptom of what came before. I was just recreating the chaos. Seems obvious now.

I keep attracting crappy friendships/work relationships. I end up being really loyal to people who just do not deserve it. I imagine I could benefit from some kind of assertiveness training or something. I find it hard to stand up for myself.