To want to be beautiful

[Niyoniyo]

Or at least attractive

I actually want to kill myself because of how bad I feel. I have a good job, earn good money and am well educated but cripplingly lonely (despite on the surface having lots of friends) and my feelings that I look ugly/different/unpolished/like I don't fit in are ruining every aspect of my life. Has anyone else ever felt like this?

Does it really matter ?
You might feel better about yourself, you have nothing to be ashamed of, whatsoever. However, we respect your privacy. 😀

Op you need to talk to a doctor about feeling so low you want to kill yourself. There are things they can do to help you.

I feel you OP.

Doesn't everyone Op? yet only a few actually are ..the rest of us just focus on being the best we can be and other qualities....

Stop this obsessing over your looks, there are people born without legs or with a major disfigurement, or a life threatening disease.......try going to volunteer at a hospice or childrens hospital and you will feel much better...its hard to feel sorry for yourself when you see those with real problems.

Honestly, OP, what need to focus on is why your sense of self is so fragile that you feel 'disgusting' without validating male attention.

I wish you could post a pic as then you could get some totally honest opinions on how you look. I was v insecure at your age and thought I was ugly. I wasn't. I'm now 50 and I know I am beautiful, inside and out. It's such a waste of youth to be crippled by insecurities and it sounds like it's affecting your life badly. Maybe over time you will be able to accept yourself more, wonder where this low self esteem has come from, have pp told you this, or are you comparing yourself to airbrushed celebrities?

I think I might have borderline personality disorder

I am comparing myself to beautiful normal girls

I can give you one 'positive' for not being stunning -

I am very plain, always have been. And now (late fifties) I have no looks to worry about losing. My prettier friends are trying with increasing desperation, to hang on to fading looks, whereas I look exactly the same as I always did, just with a few more wrinkles. I've got a huge nose, no chin to speak of, blotchy skin... and I've been married three times, and get more than my share of grins and winks.

It's how you feel, not how you look, OP. And you clearly feel bad, so I think you'd benefit from talking to someone professional.

I can post a pic but it will be flattering - too awkward to put one up that is horrendous. Is there any way of anonymising it? I guess not.

I'm sorry this is upsetting you so much. You do know that even the most beautiful people have days when they feel bad about themselves. Nobody is perfect!

Also, when you look at people who are less than perfect, are you this hard on them? I doubt it, everyone has something nice about them and no way wold you be so harsh describing some one else. Why are you so hard on yourself?

I don't know - all I can see is that beautiful people's lives are a fuck load easier better and happier than mine

It's a lot easier to be happier if you're pretty

I wouldn't spend an hour every morning trying to get my face to look normal or choose clothes that don't cling in the wrong places

There are many famous beautiful women who were/are (possibly) very unhappy. For example, Vivien Leigh, Marilyn Monroe, Natalie Wood, Judy Garland, Kylie Minogue, Angelina Jolie...

Yes but without sounding glib or trying to demean their problems it must be easier to be happy

None of that is true.
A woman i know told me "being happy is not how much everyone loves you (look at all the famous celebrities with thousands of fans who end up dead) it's not about how much you love other people, it's about how much YOU LOVE LIFE."

Make the most of what you have and enjoy your life.

I hate life though - sorry. I really hate it. It's an unhappy illusion and it sickens me

OP I have nothing helpful to add to this thread. I'm in the same place as you. I'm 24 and see a monster in the mirror every morning. I hate my hair texture, my skin colour and my body. Literally everything about me is revolting. Im surrounded by pretty Europeans which doesn't help.

I think superficially people might be more attracted initially to beautiful people, but I think deep down most people want to be with/be around people who are nice, kind, funny, generous, good listeners etc. There are so many beautiful people who struggle to find meaningful, loving relationships because people only go with them for their looks, and they only manage to attract superficial people who only want someone who looks good, then will get rid of them when someone better comes along.

Have you spoken to a doctor or a psychiatrist about how you feel?

TBH it's not 'normal' to feel like this; perhaps it's worth talking it over with someone?

I feel similar to yourself op. For as long as I can remember I have wished to look like someone else, any body else. I feel disheartened when I see my reflection in the mirror, sometimes I feel so ugly I want to scream, take my glasses off and break them, although I know its not just about wearing glasses! But I don't let this get in the way of everyday life, I can't, I have kids, so I just get on with it.

I remember feeling like this when I was quite young, about 11, 12, wondering why I looked 'different' to my friends. They were all blossoming, while I felt like an ugly troll. I was bullied because of my face - its really quite round.

I'm sorry you feel this way about yourself. I don't know what the answer is, but it can never be so bad that you wish to end your life, you must recognise this. I know (I don't have many friends) different women, some are absolutely gorgeous, perfect make up and are very photogenic. And I know other women, who are gorgeous too, no-make up and take wonderful photos. Their beauty is their smiles. It comes from within, once you are happy inside, it shows on the outside.

Hello lovely - you don't need to put a photo up of yourself - you look fine, just like a human female, which is what we are.

I get the male attention thing - I used to be the same. It's symptomatic of a society which values only females which are attractive to males. It's bullshit though.

Look around - most people just look normal. Some even a bit ugly. Some strangely beautiful. It doesn't matter. Your body is just a vessel to do what you want to do:- work, enjoy hobbies, see you friends. You don't need to be other worldly beautiful to do these things.

You do seem quite down about things and I think it would be worth a visit to your GP.

Also just wanted to add, I consider myself pretty, but I'm so I photogenic, I could never be Instagram beautiful X

Thanks all

I work in finance and all the women are intelligent and stunning. The men are ok but all have pretty wives. Beauty is a currency for women and nothing else really matters