Anyone around for a hand hold?

[sadandalone]

I've had to set up a new account as I couldn't log into my old one, but I've been around the boards for years.

I've had an awful day which has finished with me very nearly hurting myself badly. I've been referred back to the crisis team by the GP where I was taken by the police and they are coming out to assess me in the next hour. On the phone the nurse said she thinks I'll have to go into hospital this time. I've not been an inpatient before, always just managed with crisis and home treatment team.

I'm petrified, what should I do? Feeling the urge to run again.

Let them take care of you. You won't always feel like this - let them treat you and help you. You'll feel so much better for it.

You should decide what to do to keep yourself safe for the next hour. You should allow the professionals to help you. You should be proud that you were strong enough to resist the temptation to harm and instead do the right and strong thing.
It's hard. You're doing the right thing.

I would have hurt myself but my DP had called the police and they found me. He's been left to watch me until crisis team get here. I could outwit him though.

Be kind to yourself op. Let these people help you.
Take each day hour by hour xx

Can you try to do something non triggering until they get there? Try to distract yourself, just for a while. Play a card game with dp or read maybe? If you are kept as an inpatient, you'll be fine. Dp will bring you anything you need or want. Think of it as the quicker you're seen too, the quicker you can get help, and go back to your usual routine again, without wanting to harm yourself. You've had an awful day, but help is on the way. Tomorrow will be a new, better day x

I know you're sad, but you're not alone

Hi OP, sorry you're having a difficult time. Please let them admit you, if necessary, you'll get the best care, and will soon be mended. Maybe you and your DP, could get a few things together, just incase. Don't be scared Sweet, you'll be fine.💐

Op chat to us about the mundane and trivial if you want. Books. Films. Songs you sing too loud in the shower.

Let them help. You matter to your DP and other people.

They've just gone. Trying to find a bed but currently nothing in a 100 mile radius apparently. I don't want to go anyway. Just want to be left alone. I've come for a lie-down but he's hovering outside the door.

I'm sorry you're going through a horribly tough time. You are strong though, you have come on here to ask for support whilst you are clearly in the middle the most stressful of times. That's courageous, let them help you. It might feel unbelievably scary now but in time you'll look back and see that this was the beginning of you're journey to feeling better and well.
Do something suggested above while you wait, listen to music, put a movie on.
When help arrives, be honest, don't down play how you are feeling.
💐

Someone will be around here, all night OP, don't be alone.

Can you give free writing a try? Just a pen and paper and no plan about what to write, just let your hand start writing words in any order with no thought about sense or gramma, no expectations. I once tried asking a question on paper with my right hand, then put the pen in my left and let it answer - lots of squiggles but also some decipherable words that I translated as 'play music' so started playing my piano and things started opening up. Just putting that out there in case it appeals to you.

You may not want to go but you may need to. The idea that you could "outwit" him and hurt yourself suggests it might be a very good idea to get more professional help.
Distraction is good.

I'm doing some work, waiting for a phone call to tell me if there is a bed or not. Not sure I'll agree anyway, if I'm not dead I need to go to work or all hell will break loose.

No beds anywhere. They are coming back in the morning, but I have to go to work.

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me - I am usually better-mannered than I have been. I'm a little self-absorbed at the minute.

How does today find you?

Well I'm in hospital and it is awful. I can feel myself losing whatever grip I had.

We're still here OP, don't worry about yesterday.
So you're in hospital, are you very far from home ?
It's always hard, being in a different environment, getting used to routines and noise, but regardless, you may not agree, but you're so lucky to have a bed. Try to look on it, as a start, to getting mended.
Do you know how long you will be there ?

I'm in the unit in the next town, on the same site as the general hospital. I spent last night in A & E and then on an assessment ward because I managed to do something 'silly' as the doctor put it, then I was transferred over this evening as someone has gone on leave for 48 hours. God knows what happens if they need to come back.

By silly, did the doctor mean a suicide attempt?
Or was it something useful like thumping a polititian... . Probably not otherwise you would get arrested for doing a lublic service.

Anyway, remember we are still here and will always be here, all at once or just one at a time. I know it is boring as hell in hospital which is probably not the easiest thing to put up with. I can't spend all my day in here but feel free to PM if you need a chat ... I see email notifications.

Hi OP, just wanted to say that I hope you managed to get some sleep.
I do know, that it's very wearing and stressful, hanging around in hospitals.
Let's hope today is kinder to you. 💐

Hi OP hope today isn't as bad. If you'd like a chat I'm about.

Hi,

I ended up back in the general hospital on Thursday because there were some 'anomalies' in my blood tests. Discharged from there this afternoon but no beds in the unit so I'm home under the crisis team. I've told them they'll have to section me to get me back in there anyway. I reckon I can say the right things to avoid that.

Thanks for thinking of me.