Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

They want to admit me

52 replies

CrazyCatMum · 20/12/2016 23:36

On the Christmas Eve for 4 days.
They say it will only be that but I don't trust them not to make me stay longer.

I've had the crisis team on and off for months but I'm just getting worse.
They are worried that if I'm left on my own over Christmas I will hurt myself.

But I can't go in, I have no one to watch my cat, if my ex finds out he won't let my son come home.

If I go in everything will be taken out of my hands, they will be in control.
4 days admission isn't going to change anything, just cause me more stress but I'm scared if I don't agree they will make the decision for me or thy will just walk away saying I must be ok.

If my son wasn't going away to his dads I know they wouldn't have mentioned hospital but I would still be feeling the same whether he is here or I am on my own.

It also feels a little too late, I've felt like this for months and now they throw this at me knowing how I feel about hospital ☹️

OP posts:
Jules8432 · 20/12/2016 23:38

What's made them want to admit you?

Original poster
CrazyCatMum · 21/12/2016 00:16

I'm not coping with everyday life, Christmas is a really big trigger for me and they are worried that because I'm going to be on my own I may do something to myself and they have a duty of care to make sure I'm safe.
But I'm scared once I'm in there I won't get home for a while, every admission I've had I've been told 2 weeks max but ended up in for 6 months so I'm struggling to trust them on the 4 days bit.

OP posts:
Note3 · 21/12/2016 06:27

If you go in voluntarily as an in patient and can demonstrate how things are different for you upon release compared to how things were previously then they would be highly unlikely to section you. I appreciate you're scared and anxious.

NurseRosie · 21/12/2016 06:35

If things have been escalating and also Christmas is a trigger maybe going in is a good idea. It's good that they are trying to preempt and safeguard. It's natural to feel the way you do about admission but you have to have yourself and your wellbeing in mind.

Note3 · 21/12/2016 06:55

Oops sorry I wrote release and should have written discharge...ignore my oversight

Jules8432 · 21/12/2016 07:08

I can totally see why you're worried to go in. But if it means keeping you safe then you should go x
Maybe try to prepare yourself for staying in a Lil bit longer so if they do keep you in then you told yourself this might happen and if they don't then great!
Is there anyone who can ensure you get out after 4 days?

Ifailed · 21/12/2016 07:09

To be blunt, if they wanted to admit you they will, whether you like it or not.

Assuming you have custody of your Son, you ex can't decide whether he goes back to you or not, you do. Surely there is a neighbour who could feed your cat - if you don't want to say where you are going, say something about illness in the family, you wouldn't be lying!

I'd go in for the 4 days, it'll get you through xmas, maybe get a bit of stability as well. Speak to them about your concerns about your son, voluntarily having treatment is seen as a Good Thing, so may don't over think it?

good luck.

ViewBasket · 21/12/2016 21:23

Ideally a friend, relative or neighbour would help with your cat, but I appreciate it might be difficult to ask if the length of your hospital stay is open-ended.

I found this information on the Citizens Advice website.

"If you are admitted to hospital... your local authority has a duty to take care of your pet, although you may have to pay for any costs of temporary shelter for your pet."

So if you don't have other options, it could be worth phoning your local authority, say you're likely to be going into hospital and don't know for certain how long it's for, and see what arrangements they can offer for your cat.

Francescaestee · 21/12/2016 21:31

I don't think they would say 4 days and then keep u in longer. Christmas is a very difficult time. I would go with what they suggest just over Christmas. If not is there a day hospital that you can go in for the next week. Their priority is to keep you safe and look after you. If your ex has your son then you know he is safe. As for your cat, can anyone look after him for you. Or go in to feed. I know if it were me that's what I would be worried about, as the cat is a priority. I wish I could help in anyway as I understand how u feel, I have been there and it is very hard. You will get through this xxx

dangermouseisace · 21/12/2016 22:09

I was in last Christmas- they wouldn't let me out at Christmas as they thought it would be difficult.

It's better to go in voluntarily…nursing staff then make decisions about what you can/can't do rather than having to get a Dr sign off everything. It sounds like you're going one way or the other…and it sounds like a good idea. Christmas just IS worse. I didn't believe them when they said it would be, but it was, especially if you're on your own. Go in, at least it will be a distraction. I sincerely doubt you'll be there for long as there is a such a pressure on beds these days.

ViewBasket · 22/12/2016 12:45

How are you today CrazyCatMum?

Original poster
CrazyCatMum · 22/12/2016 17:55

I guess just now they are giving me a choice, but in a strange way it doesn't feel like a choice.
My oldest son has now said he will take the cat for a couple of days if I have to go in.
It feels strange, I worry more about the cat, feel really bad for th cat that I'm going to be leaving him at Christmas, I know he doesn't know any different, well I don't really because I can't think straight.

I seem to go from being angry at them for making me choose to be glad they have because for once I may have the chance to say No which is something I never do/did.

I could go in to my appointment tomorrow and she says sorry there's no beds now and the decision will have been made for me and all this worry and panic will have been for nothing.
I no I'm not coping, I haven't been for months but I'm scared, scared that if I go in it means I have to keep breathing just a bit longer,

I get angry that they want to help me now but when I was a child no one did and it just feels too late.
I just don't have anything left to give 😭

OP posts:
Note3 · 22/12/2016 20:41

That you're reaching out for help on here shows you do still have fight in you. Go to your appointment tomorrow and be ready for a short hospital stay then you can get out and be there for your children and cat again. You've got this.

Empress13 · 22/12/2016 20:48

OP I feel so sorry for you so have a ((hug)).

Have you no family/close friends to assist you and help out with the cat?

Maybe being admitted is the best thing for you especially as you feel so overwhelmed at this time of year.

ViewBasket · 22/12/2016 21:58
Flowers

Thinking of you OP.

Lovemusic33 · 24/12/2016 08:45

OP take the help, you have nothing to lose, 4 days away is better than being sectioned. My dss was sectioned yesterday after he kept refusing to go in for 2 days of is own free will. He could have gone in and been back home in a few days, now he has no choice Sad.

My mental health is pretty shit at the moment, I have suicidal thoughts, I'm dreading the next few days and I don't know how my mental health will be when I am on my own Boxing Day, I've asked for help, been given med's ( but they take too long to kick in and make me feel worse before I feel better ), I'm trying to keep myself busy with my DC but I am scared of my mind wondering.

Please take the help and make sure you are safe for Christmas xx

Original poster
CrazyCatMum · 24/12/2016 09:49

I'm going in at lunchtime today, feel sick and really scared.
I thought I had everything sorted, cat going to my sons for 4 days but he's changed his mind so the cat is gonna be on his own till tomorrow night when they will stay here and then he's on his own again til I come home on Tuesday.
Feel so sad that he's gonna be on his own for Christa as day, feel sad that he's gonna be on his on. Scared I'll be burgled and they will let him out and he will be lost.

I know all this probably sounds stupid but he's just a small defenceless cat(unless his claws are out)
He's lying here snuggled up next to me, I'm gonna miss that, he makes me feel safe.

lovemusic33 I'm sorry to hear about your dss I hope he gets home soon.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 24/12/2016 15:39

It doesn't sound crazy at all, I love my cat, he's my rock too, I have just found out he has cancer, he had a op the day my ex left. I'm scared of losing him Sad. I'm sure your cat will be safe and looked after once your son gets there and until then he will be ok on his own.

Stay strong, go and get the help you need xx

Original poster
CrazyCatMum · 24/12/2016 16:19

I'll so sorry to hear about your cat I hope he is OK. It's strange how something so small can give us such comfort (and lovely scratch marks!!) And seem to know the exact time we need it.

I'm in the ward now it's quite noisy. Feel really lonely, my friends are all getting on with sorting their Christmas and I'm in here trying to hide from it.
I don't think they get how bad Christmas is for me Sad

OP posts:
OhTheRoses · 24/12/2016 16:23

Hey CCMum no need to feel totally alone. You've got us. The cat will be fine - weather's going to be quite mild. At least you are in a safe place - take care and with love Flowers

dangermouseisace · 24/12/2016 18:45

Don't worry catmum there will be better days, better Christmas'. Wards are scary til you work out who is who and what their problem is, then it's far less so as I'm sure you Already know. You made the right choice to go in. I had so much more freedom as a voluntary patient than I ever did on section. And going in of your own free will means ds's father can't complain about anything - you are showing insight and accepting help. Cat will be pissed off but ok!

Lovemusic33 · 24/12/2016 21:06

Here if you need to chat, my Christmas is pretty rubbish, my ex is just about to be arrested for harassing me, have had the police here today and my kids are upset, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow at all and would rather shut myself away. There will be other christmas's, better christmas's, concentrate on getting well.

Note3 · 24/12/2016 22:48

Can only repeat what the previous two posters have. I'm pleased you've agreed to be admitted. I hope you can pass the time quickly so you can get back to your cat and son

Twogoats · 24/12/2016 22:59

Good luck op Flowers

Haggisfish · 24/12/2016 23:02

Oh op. Sending virtual hugs. Just an hour at a time and it'll be over soon. Christmas is such s charged time of year. Personally I'm thinking if finding a very remote cottage to spend it in next year with def no Facebook access! Hope you have some ok people on your ward.