Any Self Harmers? 'Excuse' needed...

[littlemissnobody]

Ok, this will sound a bit silly but I need a believable 'explanation' for the scratches around my wrist...

I know I self harmed and shouldn't have done and I am getting help for it (medication & counselling but my mum is coming tomorrow to stay for a week and I really don't want to get into what I have done & why.

Has anyone got any suggestions?

If it helps, there is one biggish scratch on the inside of my wrist, 1 on the outside of my arm, a few small ones on my hand and 2 knuckles are damaged.

Really regretting this now...

Clean them up. If they are gaping put some small bits of plaster on like stitches to hold the edges together. Otherwise they will scar like buggery.

I think it's okay to think about the next time. I think it's ok to think that next time I will do this more hygenically / in a more discreet place / less deep. Self-harming is not the worse thing in the world and taking small steps to self-harm in a less "damaging" way can be more realistic than swearing you will never do it again.

You could bandage and tubigrip and say you have RSI from too much mumsnetting

Where do you live sweetheart? Come on ... give it up ... live the good life for you and your kids ....

Singbird the problem is never the self-harming

have you tried picking nail varnish off yor nails as an alternative

sorry to say but there is no way that would have worked for me.
there is something very addictive about cutting and is very hard to exsplane or understnad if you have not gone through it.

it has worke for some people I know I guess it is about understanding teh sensation that helps and finding a safer alternative

Yeah, sorry but it f*ing is! Big Time! So you're saying that harming is "normal". No it isn't. No person in this world who causes harm to themselves or any other person is normal. I think we need to think again.

one thing is you get an endorphin rush from the pain. It's not just 'something to do', the physical hurt of the pain masks the mental hurt of whatever it is that is making you SH. It can make it feel more real, like there really is pain there, without it, you can't grasp the hurt iyswim. And it makes your pain/hurt/whatever feel more real - you can see it so it is real, it's not in your head anymore.

can you say you had a drunken night out and you're not sure how it happened? i always found that was more easily believed than the cat thing as people weren't suspicious of the embarressment that way.

{{{{hugs}}}} btw, don't get to upset by this slip up. we're like alcoholics, it never really leaves us and there's always the potential lose control and SH. just move on from it as best you can and try not to get sucked into that cycle of despair

I find it unlikely that picking nail varnish would work !!!!

For me it was a combination of intensive psychotherapy and gradually reducing the severity of each time I self-harmed, reducing from cutting to less severe cutting, then to things which did not break the skin, etc.

songbird - I think what mp means isn't that it's 'normal' it's that there is something else causing you to SH, sort that and the SH may well sort itself out as well.

can you get away with arm warmers? am not a self harmer myself, but my hands and wrist get very cold so i usually wear long fingerless gloves/armwarmers even inside.

thats'so well put tortoise, i can never express it like that.

for me it's a release, if i allow the pain by cutting i can release it as the wound heals. does that make any sense?

Songbird I haven't said that self-harming is normal. It is a coping mechanism that some people use for dealing with underlying problems. If you remove the self-harming then the underlying problems do not go away. People need to find alternate ways of dealing with those problems, for example counselling. Littlemissnobody sounds as though she has a plan in place. That is the most important thing.

songbirdforever self harming is often a symptom of something else as tortosie has eloquantly explained and is often hidden from others whilst it may not b normal to you it is to other people who use it as arelease of bigger feelings, it is not something anyone should be made to feel ashamed of

Yeah, but it's like annorexia no?

"You could bandage and tubigrip and say you have RSI from too much mumsnetting"

That is a real possibilty!

I had no idea there were so many MNers who had experience of this - thank you for being so open with me. It helps.

FWIW, this was better than the alternative (I was in a very bad way and HAD to do something - if I hadn't scratched myself and got a grip on reality I am not sure what I would have done. SO, in a way, this is a positive thing).

I am very aware that it could easily become a regular coping mechanism and I am working really hard to avoid falling into that.

I will be more careful next time, although I would really like to think there won't be one. If there is, I will remember to stick it together with plaster. I didn't do that this time so I just hope it won't scar. I did this earlier in the week, so now it ju.st looks a mess

Songbird - I do want to live the good life. Really, I do.

anarexia is about control isnt it? self harm is more about release of feelinsg i think (correct me if i am wrong)

i am a nailbiter, hair twister(nothing like SH i know, but its what i do when stressed). but know a male friend who SH.

Gothic - I'm not saying you should be ashamed ... but you must realise that it should be corrected?

sorry songbird I misread, I think people who self harm do realise they need help unfortunately there are very few services out there without waiting lists

No it's not like anorexia.

Here is a quote from the Bristol Crisis Centre for Women:

"There are always powerful reasons why a woman hurts herself. For most women it is a way of getting through great emotional pain.
Many people cope with their problems in ways that are risky and harmful to themselves. Some drink or eat too much, smoke, drive too fast, gamble, or make themselves ill through overwork or worry. They might do this to numb or distract themselves from problems or feelings they cannot bear to face (like 'drowning your sorrows').
Self-injury, although it is more shocking, is very like these 'ordinary' forms of self-harm. Like drink or drugs, hurting herself may help a woman block out painful feelings. Like taking risks or gambling, it may provide danger and distraction.
Often women say that self-injury helps them to release unbearable tension, which may be caused by anxiety, grief or anger. It puts their pain ?outside?, where it feels easier to cope with. For others it relieves feelings of guilt or shame. Sometimes a woman's self-injury is a 'cry for help'; a way of showing (even to herself) that she has suffered and is in pain.
Perhaps hurting herself is a way of feeling 'real' and alive, or having control over something in her life."

Songbirdforever
I would say that you have not gone through this and so once again i feel it imortant to exsplain that you WON'T be able to put yourself in the shoes of a self harmer!!

NO ONE is saying that its ok or justifing it in any way but the reality is that help and advice is more productive than exspecting people to get better just because you have said that you think its wrong!! we all know its wrong thats why we feel so guilty and want to hide it !!!!!!!

littlemiss, i've had a psychiatrist, a counsellor and a gp all tell me that if i feel myself getting to that place you just described that i should cut myself rather than allow the alternative. the psychiatrist especially went into great detail on how if i can release the pain with a simple cut it would be better in the long term than finding a more serious release.

obviously the preferred option is to be able to cope with the pain before it gets to that point but they all advised this as a last resort if i simply couldn't cope.

I work with people who self harm I do not self harm, so I have learnt alot just by reading wveryone's posts thank you