*possible mh trigger* Would it be unreasonable to go to the doctor in the morning?

[harderandharder2breathe]

Genuinely not sure...

I'm currently off work with depression. I have a prebooked appointment on Thursday.

For weeks I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts with little intent. This weekend they've got worse, I haven't done anything though except one minor cut. But I just really wish I was dead.

My doctor always tells me to go back in if I feel worse. I'm fairly confident that I could get an on-the-day appointment tomorrow if I phone first thing.

But I feel stupid because I've not DONE anything, and I'm too scared of messing it up to actually try to kill myself. And I don't know what I actually expect the doctor to do! I'm on medication but if she increases it, it takes weeks to take effect. I'm already awaiting cbt through work (should be a couple of weeks wait rather than many months nhs waiting list, I know this makes me luckier than many others). I've been ill for YEARS, I know there's no magic cure. But I can't cope with feeling this bad.

So... do I try to go tomorrow or do I wait it out til Thursday?

Go tomorrow. This doesn't sound as if it can wait.

I hope you can get help soon.

Go.

Go tomorrow.

Is someone with you tonight?

Go tomorrow. If you feel embarrassed because you feel a bit better once you're there, that'll only be because you've taken some positive action to keep yourself safe. Go tomorrow.

Go tomorrow!

Go. You feel worse, and things are escalating to the point where you have cut yourself. They would so so much rather see you now and intervene than wait for you to do serious harm to yourself. Well done for having the insight to see that things have changed xx

Please go. Yes the medication might take a while to kick in but you'll feel better knowing you've done something.

Thank you

I'm on my own, which I know makes it worse. But no one I can stay with right now. People in rl know I'm ill but have never told them about suicidal feelings or self harm

Do go tomorrow. Your GP may be able to refer you to the Crisis Team (if there's one in your county/city) and they can offer much more immediate support. This has happened to me twice and it was a next/same day referral. Good luck

Thurs is a long way off when you feel this awful. Go tomorrow.

Go tomorrow or better still phone 111 now and talk to someone about how you feel. They will advise you on what is best to do. Good luck

Would it be possible to phone 111 tonight? To tell them how you feel? I'm thinking It's better you're not alone. Or what about calling the Samaritans to talk to someone? Definitely go tomorrow but I'm thinking get some help now if you can.

If you feel you might harm yourself tonight, go to a&e or the urgent treatment centre if you have one. If you can't get there, call an ambulance. If you don't feel you can call an ambulance, call nhs 111 (they will call one for you when you tell them you feel suicidal).

They will treat you with kindness and respect and can give you sedatives to get you though the night. They should also trigger a crisis team referral who will help you through the next couple of weeks.

You won't always feel like this.

Go tomorrow or if you feel you can't cope at home go to a and e. if you want to talk to someone you can ring Samaritan on 116 123 or if there is one nearby pop in for a chat.

www.samaritans.org/branches

Samaritans & keep talking on here, there's always someone up!
You will get through this x

Go tomorrow, call 111 or the Samaritans tonight and talk to someone. The phone lines are for everyone and anyone. They have time and will want to talk to you.
If you can't manage to talk, maybe try to distract your mind, I find classics threads on mn great (esp the spider one) for when I can't turn my head off and I feel pants.

Go, and use the phone lines.

Hi there Harderandharder,

We're so sorry to hear you feel this way at the moment. We'd second what previous posters have said - do get yourself to the doctor as soon as you can. Here's a list of a few numbers you can call and organisations that might be able to offer help tonight if you need it in our Mental Health webguide. We're also going to move this thread over to our Mental Health topic shortly where we think you'll get lots more targeted support from others who have been in your position.

Best of luck and we do hope things look up for you soon..

MNHQ

Hi, echo what previous posters have said if you are struggling tonight go to a&e, they will keep you safe and get crisis team to assess you. You may also be able to phone crisis team directly, the number will probably be online or available through your local hospital switchboard. You could also phone samaritans to help you get through the night. Or keep talking to us on here.

If you need a safe space to chat come to wrists bitches, its a safe space for anyone who needs it

Thank you for your replies

I have an appointment this morning, although not with my usual doctor

When I was struggling, I always felt better after seeing a doctor, even if there was no change to my treatment. Just being listened to, cared for and safe was a boost in itself.

Glad you have an appointment, hope it helps.

Please post when you get home...

Bear

Thank you for replying

I saw the doctor, she was very nice. We're changing my meds (again!) and she reiterated what you all said which was to seek help if I feel I will act on those dark feelings