*possible mh trigger* Would it be unreasonable to go to the doctor in the morning?

[harderandharder2breathe]

Genuinely not sure...

I'm currently off work with depression. I have a prebooked appointment on Thursday.

For weeks I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts with little intent. This weekend they've got worse, I haven't done anything though except one minor cut. But I just really wish I was dead.

My doctor always tells me to go back in if I feel worse. I'm fairly confident that I could get an on-the-day appointment tomorrow if I phone first thing.

But I feel stupid because I've not DONE anything, and I'm too scared of messing it up to actually try to kill myself. And I don't know what I actually expect the doctor to do! I'm on medication but if she increases it, it takes weeks to take effect. I'm already awaiting cbt through work (should be a couple of weeks wait rather than many months nhs waiting list, I know this makes me luckier than many others). I've been ill for YEARS, I know there's no magic cure. But I can't cope with feeling this bad.

So... do I try to go tomorrow or do I wait it out til Thursday?

Of course, just when I start to feel a bit better from taking action, I get messages from work about appointments and phone calls to stress over I know they want to help, I just feel like they don't understand and are adding pressure

harder glad GP was helpful. Are you off sick at the moment? Are these appointments for you with occi health/managers or appointments with clients? I've found my occi health really supportive if thats any help.

Yeah I'm off sick, appointments with occ health, I think. Certainly wouldn't be clients as that's not part of my role anyway. Work have been great, I'm just waiting for them to decide they've had enough and get tough

My occ health have been fab, very supportive and have accessed councelling through them very quickly, they have also now refered me to a psychologist, again much shorter wait than NHS. I hope you have a similar positive experience.