Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Worried

73 replies

notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 19:04

I'm not feeling very good. At all. I don't know what to do. I'm a bit worried. I thought if I came on here it might help distract me and make me feel calmer...

I know no-one can help me. I just can't talk to anyone in real life - no-one knows I feel like this. I don't know how to make this feeling go away.

OP posts:
essbee · 07/02/2007 19:39

Message withdrawn

Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 19:45

No SS haven't been involved but if they see that I can't even look after myself, they surely wouldn't leave DS with me? I don't want to do anything because it would be awful for him.

I will keep taking the ADs. I know they will help. I just need something NOW. It's out of hours now and I was told if I needed help at this sort of time to go straight to A&E where there would be an on call psychiatrist. I don't need that. I don't want it. I just need to breathe and for my body to stop aching.

I'm seeing the dr next week so I might mention this then.

OP posts:
mumtogusnalbie · 07/02/2007 19:52

Oh you poor thing - you must mention this to your doctor because there is so much help out there and you are entitled to get it. Do you not have any family nearby? How old are your children?

Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 19:56

No, no family here. A few friends but they're busy with their own things. I don't know them all that well.

OP posts:
mumtogusnalbie · 07/02/2007 20:00

what do you do with your time during the day? is your son at school?

frumpygrumpy · 07/02/2007 20:04

Darling, i know only too well the ups and the downs of this. You are currently on the rock bottom bit but you will slip upwards from it in a day or two. It wont be perfect but it will be better.

You need to plan how you will get through this bit. It could be on paper if you have the will. I used to go out to the shops (took great effort) and buy in whatever I needed - food, milk, trash mag or two) hiding from anyone that I might bump into, then I'd retreat for a while, crying when I needed to (all the time) whilst not really letting DD know there was anything wrong, I'd do the minimum I could get away with and go to bed where I slept un-peacefully and woke tired to another awful day. BUT it got me through.

Think in small steps. Break the day up into bits and work out how you will get through each bit. You CAN do this sweetheart. YOU CAN. Don't let it win. Fight honey xxx.

essbee · 07/02/2007 21:31

Message withdrawn

Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 21:32

I know things will be better. I cling to that to get through each day...

You're right - it is about small steps. I just feel that everything is so pointless. I have no purpose in life, I just plod along doing the same old thing day in, day out. Even when I'm with friends I feel alone. I don't know why.

Well, it's probably getting on for your bedtimes, so I'll wish you all a good night. Thanks again for listening.

x

OP posts:
Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 21:33

I'm still the same essbee, but thanks for checking.

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2007 21:33

(((((hugs)))) and love to you NFSG. Your life is NOT pointless. It may feel that way right now but it isn't. This too shall pass.. it really will.

essbee · 07/02/2007 21:37

Message withdrawn

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2007 21:39

Essbee did you know you are an inspiration?

essbee · 07/02/2007 21:44

Message withdrawn

Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 21:50

Essbee - that's true. I know you have a lot going on in your life and it obviously hasn't been easy for you.

I know less about the others who have posted but I know everyone has difficulties. I need to stop being so pathetic, this is really ridiculous. I am a grown woman who should know better. I need to take responsibility for myself and not hope that strangers on the internet will help to drag me out of this. I do really appreciate you posting.

Thank you all.

x

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2007 21:52

You don't have to say anything Just wanted you to know that though I don't know you, I was one of many who 'watched' you pull yourself out of the depression you were in and get better.. and then be offering advice to others when youid probably rather forget. I think must be pretty inspirational for people suffering from depression.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 07/02/2007 21:54

NFSG, strangers on the net can help as they did Essbee. It's fab that you want to get better and get all the help you can but you are not pathetic for posting.. on the contrary.

essbee · 07/02/2007 21:58

Message withdrawn

essbee · 07/02/2007 22:02

Message withdrawn

Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 22:11

The thing is, when I feel like this, I fluctuate between wanting to help to get better and just wanting it to stop. And then I find myself googling ways to make it stop and then I end up scaring myself even more.

OP posts:
essbee · 07/02/2007 22:11

Message withdrawn

Original poster
notfeelingsogood · 07/02/2007 22:13

Thanks Essbee

I hope DS is ok

x

OP posts:
essbee · 07/02/2007 22:15

Message withdrawn

EmilyBronte · 07/02/2007 22:21

Honey, please hang on in there. I know how it feels, I promise you. I got very close to doing something very stupid a couple of years ago, and it took that to shock me into going to the GP and fessing up, and that started a whole ball rolling which eventually got me out of a terrible terrible place. I know it. I've been there. A counsellor said to me "Do we need to take this very seriously?" and I honestly couldn't say yes or no. Like you said - you aren't going to do anything but you are. It will stop. I absolutely promise you it will stop. It won't stop immediately, but it will, and you'll be there when that happens. Please make a list of all the wonderful things about you, all the things that people like. It can be as simple as 'I've got lovely hair', right up to 'I am generous' or even 'I helped an old lady cross the road today'. Then say those things over and over to yourself, and remind yourself that the world needs people like you in it.

EmilyBronte · 07/02/2007 22:24

By the way, strangers on the internet are sometimes the best possible people to help. You are not pathetic, you are strong, and I can't tell you how much your plea has touched me, because I hear myself in it. And now I'm fine, I'm absolutely fine, and I will never be in that awful place again.

EmilyBronte · 07/02/2007 22:36

Frumpygrumpy's advice is brilliant - fairy steps, that's what it takes. And now you're at the very bottom the only way really is up. Try to tell yourself that. Now I'll stop hogging this thread! I'm just so worried about you!