Well, I finally lost it today.
I am fed up with the kids ignoring everything I say and it all being a constant battle so I have just told them they can do what they like. I have not enforced any sort of bedtime, and I shan't be chasing them around to get dressed for school tomorrow; life's too short for it to be a constant battle so let's see what happens ....
MIL is coming to babysit tomorrow night as I have to go out so that should be interesting (have not forgiven her for giving dd fruit squash when I said water and lying to me about it!!!)