I think I'm going crazy

[ToadsJustFellFromTheSky]

I keep hearing voices and having these horrible intrusive thoughts that won't go away.

I've always had intrusive thoughts, it's something I've never not had and I've always had times where they'd be worse than others but right now I think they really will drive me crazy.

I'm having trouble sleeping and I keep waking up with these horrible thoughts going around in my head and they won't leave me alone!

I couldn't read and run.
That sounds scary

Do you want to talk about the thoughts?
Are you under mental health services/ have you ever been? Is there a number you can call?
If you feel at immediate risk of harming yourself, obviously go to A&E. If not, what will get you through tonight? Is there anything that might relax you?

It's mostly stupid things but they just won't stop and STFU. Like it will be thoughts about something embarrassing or stupid I have done but it will keep going around in my head over and over getting louder and I can't get it to stop.

Right now I'm avoiding going to bed even though I feel tired and am drinking coffee to try and stay awake (which probably doesn't help) because I know I either won't be able to sleep or I will wake up at some point in the middle of the night with the thoughts.

I have been under the mental health services for years for some reason or other. I keep thinking I should call the Samaritans or something but I don't want to be annoying and bother them with my silly problem.

It's not a silly problem. You shouldn't feel like that. Asking or reaching out for help is the hardest thing to do but you do you'll feel relieved that you did

You must tell your MHCP.

In the meantime -if you feel up to intellectual reflections on it - this is interesting and might be helpful;

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07ffkhx

Will they not just think I'm crazy and lock me away? I'm already convinced that my parents think I'm losing it and are plotting to lock me away behind my back.

And I'm aware that last post just makes me sound even more crazy.

I'm half expecting a team of people to come crashing through my door at any minute to cart me away.

Lock you away? For hearing voices? No.

There's nowhere near enough hospitals for that - it's not an unusual symptom - and why would they anyway? They'll help you.

Are things with your parents tricky generally?

No but I swear they keep giving each other looks when they think I'm not looking. That OMG she is crazy look...and they'd probably be right.

I think I need to stop drinking coffee and go to bed.

Try hot chocolate instead.

Try to forget the word 'crazy'. Maybe they're just worried about your health? That's a good thing. YOU are worried about your health too.

People sometimes need to go to hospital either by choice or under the mental health act as they are unable to keep themselves safe and are a serious risk either to themselves of others. Having intrusive thoughts and hearing voices is very common and as the previous poster said there is not enough space in hospital for everyone who experiences it to be admitted, the mind website has lots of helpful info Mind.org.uk

If you want to work with mental health professionals to stay safe and cope with these intrusive thoughts they can help you make a crisis plan. It will probably focus on ways to keep you safe and distracted. They can also look at ways to help you sleep, such as relaxation and help you to identify practical solutions to help you through this crisis. Did your mental health services give you a crisis number to call? They are normally 24/7. You said you had thought about calling the Samaritans, they are there to be used so if you need to call them.

Do listen to that Radio 4 programme though. You can always switch it off again. Lots of different experiences of hearing voices on it. Not a miserable programme at all.

Honestly, with the lack of resources these days no-one is going to section you.
I don't think your parents are plotting against you.
Calling the Samaritans is a great idea, then as you say try to sleep. Have a light, silly e-book, or dvd etc and hot choc/ ready if you wake up. Then call your cmht in the morning.

Ooh interesting programme from PaulDacre, Rufus May has interesting things to say about voice hearing too.

People don't get locked up these days, they honestly don't. Most mental health practitioners aim not to admit patients to hospital unless they are very ill indeed and if you go to them of your own accord, this is even less likely to happen. I do have a couple of friends who did end up being admitted to hospital but as soon as their medication was adjusted to a correct level, they were sent straight home. Hearing voices is not as uncommon as you think. It's just that people don't talk to each other about it.

I am actually going to have some hot chocolate and lie in bed with a bit of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. And right now I don't care how stupid that sounds.

I don't think you get any more lighthearted than that .

I will probably feel very stupid in the morning though

I love Sabrina! Good call

Fab call

Oh dear

Well that was an awkward night

How are you feeling today?

You made me you tube Sabrina I hadn't seen it for about 20 years.

I have been better today thank you and am even feeling better tonight

Is there a way to stop intrusive thoughts when they're happening? They've always driven me crazy but I can't stop them.

Sorry you're having this problem.
I don't know about stopping intrusive thoughts but I am able to quell anxiety when I do 'yoga breathing'.

Sit somewhere comfortable so your back is supported. Close your eyes. 1. Slowly breathe in - count of 5

1. Hold that breath for a count of 3
2. Now slowly breathe out for a count of 5
3. count 3 before you take the next long breath in (returning to 1 on this list)

Do about 8 repetitions of this. It's difficult to think of anything else whilst doing it.

I work in a university and there are posters around the place for support groups for people who hear voices. Contact your local mental health team tomorrow to see if there is one in your area???

Glad you're feeling a bit better.
Support group is a good idea. In the meantime I recommend you Google Rufus May, lots of interesting stuff about living with voices/ intrusive thoughts.