gosh i feel abit down ......

[Biglips]

as ive deleted all my "Friends" phone nos and email addys who hadnt bother to be in touch with me for the past year only me who is chasing them up all the time. I felt better doing it but sad but i enjoyed their company

im defo a billy no mates

Am i being selfish?

No not selfish. They still have your number so can get in touch if they want to. It's not fair for you to do all the chasing.

no - very brave to recognise people who do not make you feel good about yourself do not have a role in your life.

You are not billy no mates you are very selective of the people you choose to call your friends.

Hi Biglips, I've done exactly the same thing. It was kind of a NY resolution for me, to get rid of all the people in my life that don't give anything back. I don't think it's selfish, these people were bringing me down, I almost feel that a weight has been lifted from me, but like you, feel some sadness for what might have been.

I think you did a good thing, TBH. I went through something the same as this and for a while I really felt like no-one would be arsed if I drove my car into the wall or something, but do you know what? It changed my outlook. I started gravitating towards positive people and as I became more positive I in turn attracted positive people to me. I also myself up to meeting new people instead of staying in my comfort zone.

Friendship requires input but it shouldn't be a huge effort and you'll soon realise that these 'so called' friends were either not real friendships at all, or that you've just evolved away from each other.

Far from feeling desperate but too proud to contact them, you'll realise you don't need them as much as you thought and can easily attract new people who are interested in being your friends, just for the person that you are.

I think you are being a bit rash tbh. Good friends don't need to keep up contact, they just need to be there for you(and you for them) if you really need them, like in a crisis, not if you just need to go down the pub.
As you go through life you lose some friends, that is natural, people grow and change and have different interests, but if they are real friends you will be happy to hear from them even after a couple of years, not keeping score as to who last called who. that is all a bit secondry school and has no place in the life of a sophisticated young woman.
By all means don't ring them if you don't want to but don't cut off all contact, you may regret it.
Remember it is unlikely that these friends are trying to hurt you, it is much more likely that life has just gotten in the way of their social lives.

Whilst I agree that friendships can't be onesided, I do think that you have to make an effort to keep in touch with people or you get left behind.

carm - yes i agree with you but i felt better deleting their contacts dets as it was really getting me down as to be honest it been going on for 2 yrs and not 1 year - i can always get them back off my other friends but if i keep it on my phone ill always be texting them to say Hiya and Do you want to meet up or Do u want me to come round 2 urs or vice versa so it doesnt always involved pubs /drinking.

plus im always there for them but never for me as it made me think over Xmas of who was with me cos i was feeling down but noone bothered but maybe they've got their own probs.

I did this too - I had friends that were really excited that I was expecting ds but once I had him I never saw them
I got fed up of making the calls to people too in the end

well im gald ive done it as feel much better knowing that i cannot contact them as no number

im glad that this is one of my NY resolutions sorted

you are brave to do that. I have been thinking of doing similiar cos I keep trying to make cotnact with two friends who never bother to keep in touch with me.

Now you can feel mentally free to go and make new friends who will value you.