When did you get help?

[Emptynestx2]

I feel I'm really struggling at the moment but feel going to the Drs is a big step. I lost my parents 7 years ago which I know is a long time but I still cry a lot. My children have both left home, youngest last year and then my husband had an affair. I have fallen out with some people I thought were friends and I've not left the house or spoken to anyone for three days. I just don't feel like me at the moment. Any advice for me?

Hi op - do you have a friend you can talk to - even if it's over the phone? You have had a really stressful time. Is it worth mentioning it to the doc- they may be able to refer you to councilor- there is sometimes a long wait so may be better to go now- you could always change your mind if your app comes thro and you feel better. Xx

Thanks Orchid, I have talked to friends but not really about how I feel. I've also been talking to a counsellor via Skype as we don't live in the UK, it helps a bit but I just feel so sad. I sound pathetic!

Definitely call your doctor and tell him. Ask for some counselling. In the meantime, try to do something that will give you a focus....go for a short walk to a specific place; if you can be around people try volunteering - that can bring a wonderful sense of purpose and giving and can be very non committal. See those friends that you haven't fallen out with. Explain you are broken and just need to sit and drink tea with them.

You aren't pathetic Op. Everyone has low times. Do you have a hobby that could help you- I've just started knitting to try and help me be less anxious. I've just started medication which is making me feel awful and I'm beginning to wish I'd never started it so I would advocate talking to your doc and asking for some therapy. Do you have any friends in a similar position to you but in the uk? Could you Skype/ face time. Alternatively do you have a family member ( sister/ cousin) who could come and visit you for a short break? 💐

It's hard to tell people isn't it, I always say I'm fine because that is what people like to hear. I don't have any close family, only one brother who though very lovely isn't emotional. Think this is probably why I'm missing my mum so much, she is the one person who would have known something was wrong. I've got friends at home but a lot of the friends I made here have now moved away.

How are you doing empty nest?

You certainly are not pathetic. It's very difficult opening up at times. The few family members close to me doesn't particularly listen. I feel like I am talking to a wall most of the time. I would certainly try some talk therapy and try to go for a walk every day if you can.