I feel a constant and profound emptiness

[SolidSnake]

I've posted on here before regarding my depression and anxiety (and a still ongoing infatuation with a teacher). I'm been on numerous medications - both antidepressants and antipsychotics - and i'm still having suicidal thoughts and self harming. Nothing seems to help. I attend university and have a good education doing a subject I love, as well as supportive friends and family, and yet it's not enough for me to be happy, and i'm often afraid that's i'll aways feel this way. I guess i'm looking for advice. Has anyone felt anything similar and emerged from it? What has helped you?

I haven't seen your previous posts, sorry. Are you SHing now? Do you have good days too? Do you live away from home currently?

Please take care

Sorry that you're feelings no this way! Yes, it is totally fucking shit.
Anyone in RL to talk to about this, if you haven't already?
I get exactly how you feel, I'm not on the other side yet - but here's hoping!
Like most things in life, it takes time.
Hope you feel better soon!

Ps. MGS reference? down with the kids

I've not read you previous posts. In the dark ages, when I was a young thing I was in a similar situation to you- suicidal/self harming/eating disorders and meds didn't really do much. It got better and I was 'normal' until my second child was born. It took many years to get to that 'normal' place though and involved a lot of things coming together- medication that worked, talking therapy, CBT type stuff for anxiety, actually being open with friends etc, healthy lifestyle (yoga, bizarrely, did a lot for me). There was a lot of 3 steps forwards one back iyswim, but it got a lot better, and I remember thinking that having been in such a horrible place made me appreciate the simple things that give pleasure (e.g. lazing in the sunshine, a good tune/book).

If it helps, I also knew quite a few others when I was a wee thing as I was in an adolescent unit who had similar issues (and the adolescent unit probably made us all worse). I'm in contact with a fair few now and we are all doing well and have normal lives (except for my recent period of illness).

Things will get better. You can get better. But it will take work- and it sounds like you are already trying to get help so you're already doing that, and it will take time, but you will get there. It's just hard to believe when you are in the depths.

Are you getting any other help apart from medication?