Please someone....?

[Jannrooo]

Background: have a toddler and a history of anxiety (eg: panicking about terrorism and being too afraid to go to my local Waitrose in case of an attack) and now have to travel tomorrow. Have already changed dates of travel once because felt panicky. Now again the same. Apologies if this isn't the right place to post. I've never posted in Mental Health before but really feel alone and unhinged and scared right now.

Jan, I've not much to offer in the way of advice but didn't want to leave your post unanswered. Anxiety is a bitch isn't it! It plays with our thoughts and makes us believe the most awful things.

Thank you ikeatears, that's exactly right. I keep imagining in vivid detail the most horrible things and I can't convince myself that it's just so unlikely to happen. I just want to lock the door and never leave the house or go anywhere and just keep my son safe.

It's a tough place to be, isn't it?
Is there something specific that's making you anxious about tomorrow or is it more if a general anxiety?
Is there anyone who could be with you for part of the journey?

Like because if I take him travelling and something happens it will be my fault for putting him in harm's way

I'm going with my husband. He is very patient and agreed to change dates and even suggested different mode of transport. Nothing makes me feel safer. Nothing specific about tomorrow just everything in the news that's happening in Europe, etc.

I just feel afraid and anxious all the time

I can understand that. It's hard to convince yourself that all will be fine when your brain is playing tricks to tell you otherwise.
Can you tell us more about the journey - how long? What kind of transport? Can you break it into more manageable stages?

I would say you need two strategies here. One to cope with the imminent journey and another to help more long term with your anxiety levels.
It's great that your husband will be there. He obviously has your DC's best interests at heart too and wouldn't take either of you anywhere he felt to be unsafe. It's probably safer to travel now, after the recent events, than it was before as heightened security and vigilance will make it harder for anything else to happen.

Ferry. Then train. Mostly panicking about the ferry. Which I used to love because I hate flying and always felt like ferry is the safer way. But now imagining everything that could happen there too.

Thanks joys, that helps about tomorrow's trip.

still feel anxious though. I feel crazy.

Voice in my head now saying what if it's more dangerous now because they're desperate

Sometimes I feel quite panicky when going on journey's too, usually longer journey's, however I believe if you pray and (do your best) to keep calm and try think nice thoughts you will be fine :) just have faith, as someone else said your husband will be there for you and your little one too. Goodluck xx

I think I'm losing the plot 😔

you're not losing anything :) x I think you are just a little too much on the cautious side (as I am) .. why don't you plan some games to play etc. whilst travelling, this will keep your mind busy ;)

Ferries are very safe way to travel. If you get really worried station yourself by a life raft - my dh designs ships so I always felt doubly safe if he was wondering around freely as he knew it was! Can you get something from your gp to damp down your anxiety?

Thinking about you today, Janroo. Hope the journey goes well x