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Original poster

Anxiety/Panic Attacks

14 replies

Marbleslostthem · 07/03/2016 22:13

I need some help as I don't think I'm helping with my lack of understanding. My DD17 is having daily anxiety attacks, some are worse than others. She gets fixed to spot and can't move or something bad will happen. This has only happened in the house but at school she's managing to stop the hyperventilation but needs to remove herself and has a full blown attack in the toilets, she's blacking out with them. She has a referral for help (CAHMS) at the end of the month and has been to see the Doctor who has advised Beta Blockers or Citrapolform? She hasn't decide if she wants to take meds. Ive tried backing off and letting her control what she wants as she rails at my interference and I think it's important she has 'some control'. Any advice please on how to help her without overwhelming her? I'll post this on the MH board too.

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Original poster
Marbleslostthem · 07/03/2016 22:15

I have posted this on the Teens board too

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Haggisfish · 07/03/2016 22:16

Brown paper bag-seal over her mouth and nose with hands during an attack and breath in and out for at least a minute as soon as she feels wobbly. Really works but very few people do it properly.

Haggisfish · 07/03/2016 22:16

Beta blockers prob good to try first as they stop body reacting physically.

Haggisfish · 07/03/2016 22:17

What is she really feeling she has no cobtrol over? Is it the relentless onward march of exams? Reassure her they are not the be all and end all.

Original poster
Marbleslostthem · 07/03/2016 23:04

Thanks for your responses. Yes, exams and the pressure of life it seems. She doesn't really know what she wants to do when she leaves school. We've told her that if she doesn't want to go to Uni then that's fine with us and it's not such a terrible prospect. She gets seriously pissed off at us as she says 'you just think I'm thick'. No, we just want to take some pressure of her but the pressure appears to be applied by her own thoughts.

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Original poster
Marbleslostthem · 07/03/2016 23:09

We've suggested she can go to the local college and do her final year there but that's an absolute no go for her. The only reason she's gone to the Doctor is because I lost it one day. I shouted and cried and said she wasn't responding to my help and she wasn't doing anything to help herself so she did. She's such a lovely, kind, bright, articulate girl and I hate how this is affecting her. She ran into my room the other night and just stood there because the anxiety wouldn't subside and she needed to be near me but couldn't let me cuddle her as that stresses her out too. i don't know what to do to help

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blimppy · 08/03/2016 10:40

My DD(16) is also suffering from these. She has had anxiety and social phobia for a long time, as a problem for about 3 years but looking back with hindsight it has clearly been there always. She now also has depression. It is incredibly hard to watch your child suffer like this and I completely relate to your feelings of helplessness. My DD has now (after a 9 month wait) been assessed by CAMHS but they have made clear that it will be many months before any treatment (CBT) actually starts. It sucks! Medication may well help your DD, but be prepared for her symptoms to get worse before they improve, and it can take months to finally find the right medication and amount. My DD started a very low dose of Fluoxetine just before Christmas and she is still nowhere near right. All I can suggest is that you help her identify safe places where she can go, in college and at home, when the panic strikes. My DD calms herself with endless colouring of those mindfulness colouring books while watching disney films on her laptop! It's worth involving the college too.

Haggisfish · 08/03/2016 11:21

I do also think some teens don't use the advice they are given, at times. So panic attacks really can be stopped using the brown paper bag (held air tightly over the mouth and nose), beta blockers and exercise. Have you seen them try these techniques?

Haggisfish · 08/03/2016 13:45

Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh-I know this because I suffered badly with anxiety and panic attacks. Over time, I have learned techniques such that I very rarely suffer panic attacks any more and can control my anxiety, to some extent.

Original poster
Marbleslostthem · 09/03/2016 19:53

Thanks for sharing blimppy and Haggis, I think you're spot on there, we went to the Doc again yesterday and he asked 'what are you doing to help yourself'. My DD said breathing, exercising and eating better. He suggested colouring books and meditation. Although, these may not work for her, he's right in that she HAS to try and not rely on someone giving her a solution because that may take a while. Maybe it's a way of empowering her to have some control. We bought colouring pens on the way home so let's see if it helps. School have agreed to her dropping a subject to take some pressure off too which will help in the meantime I hope.

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Original poster
Marbleslostthem · 18/04/2016 08:09

I'm really struggling. I'm not handling this right, I don't understand and I'm not helping her. I feel so anxious and am scared to speak to my own daughter at times because I can't do right for doing wrong. I could crawl into a ball and sob and I know that's selfish because this isn't about me. I just feel so hopeless...

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dangermouseisace · 18/04/2016 09:07

aww marbles it sounds like you are both having a really tough time Flowers I heard someone say that a parent is only as happy as their least happy child and it's true.

Is your daughter getting much professional help as really there all you can do is be there for her. Are you getting any support?

Original poster
Marbleslostthem · 18/04/2016 09:50

dangermouseisace very true. She's on the waiting list for CBT/Counselling but I've booked her in for private counselling sessions. School are being helpful but she has this week to finish assignments or won't be able to sit exams which she really wants to do. I shouted at her last night and she had a panic attack - shit parenting 101. She can't get out of bed this morning and is flinching everytime I go near her. I can't even cuddle her to make her feel better.

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dangermouseisace · 19/04/2016 14:18

oh dear it's not shit parenting it's being a human and being stressed out. We are all human and we all say/do things we regret in the heat of the moment, and then have to apologise! If she doesn't do the exams at this particular point is it there a possibility she could do them at another time/another year? I kind of understand the anxiety/assessments thing. I'm meant to be doing a masters…one essay left to do…one tiny essay. I ended up not doing it at all because I was panicking all the time. Sometimes it's just not the right time…

Your daughter is lucky to have a mum who has booked her in for private counselling. I hope that they help at least a bit, until she gets seen for CBT

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