Talk to me about adult ADHD

[Thefitfatty]

Just been diagnosed, and started on Concerta. Anyone else not figure out they were ADHD till they were in their mid-30's? Can anyone tell me about their side effects? Or what I can expect now that I'm on meds?

Thanks bertie. TBH it's feels better someone saying to maybe look there from here rather than trying the other way around!

Honestly I just want to scream 'but I am being an adult' but then that kind of proves I'm not

But my work in attempting to see less in black and white terms means I'm noticing more that either I'm seen as a problem constantly or I'm noticing how it's me seeing a more coloured view than others. I'll try out relationships. Or maybe Ainu given my latest saga if I feel brave enough

thanks bertie, that's interesting. Sometimes i wonder if that's because my brain doesn't stop and I over think things.

YY I totally have a "chatterbox brain"!

TBH I would avoid AIBU if there is even the slightest chance that your ADHD is influencing things. It's not an understanding place, not recently. Relationships would be better if you want to start your own thread.

Re the Stately Homes threads, it's a long running series of support threads, looks like there is not a current one, but here's the most recent:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2562518-But-we-took-you-to-Stately-Homes-survivors-of-dysfunctional-and-toxic-families

Oh actually, advanced search tells me they are in Off the Beaten Track now. You might want to check there for a current one if it's of interest.

Hi, I know this is a bit of an old thread but as it's been active more recently I wonder if I may (tentatively) join you.

I was reading a thread a few days ago about struggling to achieve anything/get anything done in which adhd was mentioned numerous times. Anyway I Googled and the first article I found described me so accurately I cried (www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1638.html). I've since been desperately searching for more and more info on adhd and have done a couple of checklist checks for it which were all pretty positive. My OH also recognises me in the descriptions given. We were both very shocked because we weren't really aware that those symptoms are how it presents (he works with young adults some of whom have adhd and very difficult behaviour).

I am 39. I live in a cluttered mess which I cannot control no matter how hard I try. I loose everything, I'm horribly impatient,do everything at the last minute and generally feel like I struggle to function. It's so much more but I can't get it all together in my head to write it down. I have a degree but I've failed to keep a career going. I do a boring job in which I only just get by because I do the minimum when I absolutely have to.
I have suffered on and off from depression since my early 20s and more so since I had children. And the main issue is an inability to cope with everything.
I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this. I'm feeling shocked, scared and confused. My OH thinks I should go to the gp but I'm not sure. If anyone has any advice or good sources of info they can share I'd be really grateful. Thanks.

Phew!

Hi Crazylady. That sounds exactly like me!

I think you should definitely go to your GP. But it might be useful to look at this first so you go in prepared.

www.simplywellbeing.com/help-for-adhd/adult-adhd-diagnosis-in-the-uk/

To get a UK NHS diagnosis, AADD recommends:

1. Make a 10 minute appointment with your GP and simply say you want a referral to an adult ADHD specialist for an assessment.
2. Take along the List of Symptoms, with the relevant ones circled. For each symptom, list a specific instance of how it has negatively affected you
3. Take a copy of the NICE Guidelines along
4. Tell your GP that you will ring in one week’s time to find out how the referral is going

The AADD also maintains a List of Adult ADHD Specialists and Clinics. If your area is not on the list, ask your GP for an out-of-area referral.

Interestingly when I was diagnosed with ADHD they screened me for depression and apparently I've never had depression. Just a proportional response to the difficulties I've been having. I think that was the most surprising thing.

BertieBotts that's REALLY helpful. Thank you.

Bertie, that IS really helpful, thank you.
Thank you so much for your reply. I was beginning to regret putting it into words a bit. In a way I can't believe I'm considering this, despite ticking so many boxes.

One of the reasons I'm reluctant to go to the gp is that I have already tried to self diagnose myself more than once. The last time I was there (some months ago) I said I thought I had bipolar (the rapid cycle variety) and didn't get much response. But actually what I was trying to understand was (is) why my depression comes and goes. What I was thinking might be mania could also be explained by getting a bit hyper/over anxious when I've got a lot on and getting caught up/obsessed with things. Like some other posters here, I'm very all or nothing. So it is interesting what you say about your 'depression' being a response to your difficulties Bertie.

Sorry for taking over the thread. I'm just going to read back over it now. I was upset when I first read it because you were all describing how I feel.

Crazylazygirl - look into ASD in women, Everyday Aspergers is a brilliant book which accurately describes the challenges and manifestations. Women on the spectrum frequently get diagnosed with: depression, anxiety, bipolar, borderline personality or OCD but none of them quite fit. It is frequently comorbid with ADHD/ADD too.

Getting a diagnosis of anything is not a sentence, it's a starting point, a way to stop feeling like a failure and be kinder to yourself.

At the moment they are investigating my DDs concentration in school she is In yr 1.
As a child I spent most of my life in the heads office for not focussing
I was always in another place and not doing what I was meant to be doing
As an adult it's got worse since having my DD I have to have lists for doing stuff even if it's a simple task like posting a letter.... I will put it off for ages
I cannot focus on housework it tends to get done as a blitz when it gets awful
I impulsively interrupt people and I am aware I do it and it's rude but I can't help it.
I get bored with everything and will play on my phone even when watching a good movie. I drift off when people talk to me. I would love to feel normal

I'm 38 and have a degree but it was a constant uphill struggle
Every job I have ever had has not been good as I failed to focus on things
Thank goodness I run my own business now and my hubby also does it xx

Hi all,

I've been struggling a lot with my mental health of late, and reading an article about ADHD and adult women made me realise it fitted me exactly and explained so much. In a nutshell I think I can attribute so much of my anxiety and depression to feeling like a failure due to my inability to focus once the novelty has worn off anything. There's more, but I won't make this post TL;DR but suffice to say I was very sure I have it, and almost certainly have ASD as well (family history of ASD at least!)

I was referred by my otherwise-not-very-useful GP for assessment at our local mental health clinic. I brought along 12 sides of A4, where I'd written up how I matched the DSM V criteria for both ASD and ADHD with examples from both my current life and my childhood. All the tests I've done online suggest moderate to severe. They surely couldn't dispute it?

50 minutes of interview by a nurse, who then talked to a psychiatrist (and they presumably read my essay) and I was told I was "too successful" to possibly have ADHD or ASD because I have a career. Most people they see don't even have jobs. Never mind the fact I've spent most of my career trying to avoid my focus-related failings and it's an industry with a chronic skills shortage and I ace interviews due to hyperfocus and I have a very supportive husband (and we can afford a cleaner and nanny).

I was told to "believe in myself", take up Zumba and read a book on mindfulness and take anti depressants for the rest, which I refused.

So I've been discharged and that is that.

We can afford for me to go private (live close to London if anyone can recommend anyone), but is the same thing going to happen now the NHS has told me to clear off? Could I take being told I don't have it again?

I do match the criteria, I can't see how they thought I didn't, but am I missing something? Is the fact I'm "successful" in spite of my difficulties mean I really am just bloody lazy and useless and a waste of space on this planet? I guess it's entirely possible, heck, my late father would agree as would my employers.

I just feel lost and a fraud now in every sense. I was sure I had ASD too (family history) as it has made so much sense of my life. Instead of making my anxiety and depression better, this whole thing has turned my identity on its head and made me think that actually, I'm just shit after all, no other excuse for it.

I'm just reporting back on my assessment. The first appt I was gutted - he told me it sounded like normal difficulties etc and I could never have achieved what I have if I had it ...
I had been trying to be calm and factual - like I said I didn't think it would be a battle. We seemed to be talking at cross purposes a lot - I was suicidally depressed in my 20s - he picked up I never attempted suicide I was never an inpatient - although my counsellor did ask me if I thought I needed to (I couldn't afford to!) etc etc. He definitely didn't think that I had been suicidal ...when I was (if that makes sense).
Anyway my impulsive side came out and I went into a rant of how they missed DD1 until she 14 because she was bright - and just because I am bright so I have strategies etc so I am not in pieces doesn't mean I don't find things really really hard. And my mental health suffers cos I feel like a constant failure and am constantly forcing myself to be focused and in control etc etc. He said he'd see me again for a follow up...
I left in a mess - pressed the self destruct button - and drove like a maniac home in tears -thinking I don't care any more - I need help and I'm not getting it. Went back to the GP to tell her about it and she basically said maybe I had built it up too much in my head etc...go to the next appt viewing it as a clean slate.
Next time I went with 2 A4 sides of my life history - started by apologising for being stroppy and went through everything I thought he'd misunderstood. Also he was worried about my mood -I was very low (not surprising I think...) - at the end he said it sounded like ADHD but he would have to have a chat with someone about me...

So been back today ...really wound up about it - not sure how I would cope if it was a negative....anyway - drum roll- I now have an ADHD diagnosis. Will be starting meds after health checks - and actually don't know how I feel. I am exhausted. I feel happy - I guess relief that I am not just crap at life. But also sad about how much wasted ...everything ...where I would be if I had had a diagnosis as a child...how much easier things would have been. I am on the verge of tears ...not sure why - I think it is just relief...

I know medication isn't a cure - but I am really hoping they help. (I'm quite excited about it - somewhere on a thread someone mentioned taking ecstasy - I took it twice in my 20s ( before I was physically ill and on serious medication that I couldn't mix with illegal drugs) For me it made everything so calm and clear, so peaceful - I'm hoping medication is a bit like that...

Sorry I distracted myself ...

I meant to say crab maybe it is worth trying again...I am very controlled - it is how I cope with my ADHD - and I think it was my loss of control in my first appt that got me a second appt and at that just listing things that had happened to me -things I had done etc - without linking them directly with ADHD seemed to work.... this is my life, this is me...what does that sound like to you? Kind of approach.
Good Luck and don't lose heart - I guess I understand how you feel -it is how I felt after my first appointment and how I felt before this last one.

Is there a more up-to-date thread for MNers with ADHD or is this the best one still? Officially diagnosed today and prescribed Concerta. Is there anything I should be aware of before I start it? Any advice? It feels like a massive weight off to have had someone listen and say "yes, this is the cause"! If it wasn't for MN I might not have put two and two together and got the ball rolling, thank you for this thread!

I just wanted to update - I have finally plucked up the courage and asked my gp for a referral this morning and he said yes. I'm a bit shocked but also relieved. Coming back to this thread over the last couple of days has really helped.

Ovaries - did you find a more up to date thread? Great that you have been officially diagnosed. How is the medication going?