Why do I feel this way?

[LeopardLips]

I suffer from anxiety and depression which I'm currently on medication for. It took almost 3 years before the found the correct medication for me because the others where either making me - Angry, more depressed etc. Now FINALLY they found a medication that worked for me. It took 3 months for it to kick in and only lasted 2 weeks.. I'm no back where I started but I'm still on my meds. I just want to be on my own little bubble.. On my own, not to be bothered and I can't do this anymore! I have kids and a husband!

It's not only that.. after having my son premature last year. I ended up falling pregnant again in the September and had to go through with an abortion for the sake of my mental health and my other 2 children. I know it's damaged me but I didn't know it could damage me this much! I want another child but I can't.. I'm scared and I know it won't fix anything I've done.

big hugs to you.

Medication is such a battle that takes time Hun, it's awful I know. Have you been referred to therapy? Would you like to? Your doctor can refer you, I think it's worth a try to help you accept that you had to make one of the hardest decisions of your life with your mental health and family in mind. Don't kick yourself sweet, I think you should give yourself a bit of encouragement that you are a great mum and had to make a decision in order to be able to care for your children and yourself, your not a bad person.. You did what any decent parent could do and thought ahead of what would be best at that time for everyone. Which part of it was looking after your two children who very much need their mummy. Be gentle with yourself, it's ok to be sad and regretful about it of course but you had good reasons not to make things that extra bit difficult for your family Hun. You need some healing, ask your doc about therapy, your grieving for your baby, plus struggling with mental health and looking after your two children, no easy task Hun but you've come this far. Be proud of yourself and know it's ok to ask for support xx

Thank you very much for the support.

Here to listen lovey, you can extend your family in the future, when things are better and the time is right for you all.. And it will be beautiful and magical. Never give up and smile, you have so much to smile about. You will get through this. Don't rush it Hun time is a great healer, one day soon enough you will look back and sigh that you don't feel like this. Here if you need someone xx

I can't thank you enough for being there to support me when I'm really needing it.

xx