I think I have borderline personality disorder

[VirginiaWoofs]

How can I get help?

I have been through so many mental health professionals over the years but haven't had any formal help for about four years.

I am 22.

The thought of going to the GP and starting all over terrifies me. I feel exhausted already.

I feel like my life is constantly in a cycle of spiralling out of control. I'm pretty sure I have BPD, but I've never been diagnosed.

www.emergenceplus.org.uk/how-to-get-help/102-finding-support-in-your-area.html

This might be a good place to start? The people behind this organisation are lovely and very knowledgeable.

Hello

I'm a long time lurker, but have just come across your post so joined to comment.
I suffer from anxiety, but over the last couple of weeks, I've managed to convince myself I'm suffering from BPD.
Can I ask what makes you think you have BPD? I've read through the symptoms online there are a several which apply to me, although I'm not sure whether reading some of the symptoms has made me think I have them.
I very often suffer from intense feelings of panic. Lots of things trigger this, although previously I've always thought this is caused by my anxiety.
I very rarely get angry with people (to the point where my friends think it's amusing that they've never seen me lose my temper), but for a long time I've been getting almost infactuated with people, this can be work colleagues, at uni it happened with my tutor and it has happened with friends. It's never a romantic relationship I want (Until recently I was in a relationship) I just become desperate for people to like me, to the point where I will change my behaviour/views to try and make people like me (I know I can't make people like me, but I try anyway!) I know these people aren't perfect, but I still want to fit in with them and spend far too long thinking about them to the point where I feel it becomes a bit obsessive. I'm fairly tolerant, but if someone lets me down I'll feel annoyed with them (I never tell them I'm annoyed because I still want them to like me). I've also been changing jobs/career plans constantly over the last few years. I keep thinking this is just because I've not found what it is I want to do yet, but now I'm thinking maybe I just have no sense of self.
Although I don't self harm, often when things go wrong, I have suicidal thoughts. I've never made any attempt to act on these, but they scare me, although I'm too scared to tell anyone in real life that I have these thoughts.
I find some of these things quite scary, but I'm also terrified of going to see my GP, not just about mental health issues, but just in general, my GP has always been lovely, I'm just far too terrified to go and speak to them!

Hi, my daughter has recently been diagnosed with BPD. This diagnosis was made by a psychiatrist after a GP's referral to the local mental health team and a full assessment there.( and is still classified as " emerging" due to her age- similar to yours OP)
I would urge you to contact your GP first. Self diagnosis via the Internet is rarely useful, as it's too easy to convince ourselves we fit certain symptoms, particularly when we are already anxious.
fluffy please go to your GP. Mental illness is a real bastard to deal with, even with proper support in place and your GP really is the best place to start.
My advice to both the OP and Fluffy would be to get a friend or family member on board....its really hard when your brain is whirring and boiling and worrying about everything to ask the hard questions, or to be brave enough to tell the whole truth, so if you have someone you trust who can do it for you this will only help. You may need to push for the right help, and a forceful friend can be a lifesaver here.
Be kind to yourself, take the help, accept that some days will be better than others. You have done nothing to cause this and you most definitely can recover from it....with the right support and guidance.
Good luck

Hi OP, I've just started a thread myself just above yours, was told about BPD today by my counsellor and a lot of it makes sense, as does fluffyclouds description!
Hopefully I'll get some answers on my thread that will help you as well, and agree with PP's about not consulting Dr Google too much.