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Mental health

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Flip

Original poster

Please calm me down

18 replies

Ikeatears · 20/12/2015 14:45

Things have been so much better but I feel so overwhelmed today with the thought of Christmas. Written some lists but that seems to be making it worse when I see in black and white how much there is to do. Just lost my temper with dh and I'm lying in bed feeling horrible

OP posts:

Original poster

Ikeatears · 20/12/2015 14:48

Dh has just walked in with some flowers for me. Feel even worse now because I'm the one who's being unreasonable. Why can't I cope with the slightest bit of stress anymore? I can't live my whole like this

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Getit · 20/12/2015 14:50

Christmas is stressful end of story. Just remind yourself that it's only 1-2 days then its over.
If any consolation I'm feeling horrible also..

Getit · 20/12/2015 14:51

At least he loves you

originalmavis · 20/12/2015 14:51

Oh you need a Book. I have one with pickets and flaps and I keep lists of what neefd to do and when.

I write on the family calendar and keep prompts on my phone. Be realistic on what you can do and delegate or cross of what you can't do.

Being organised really helps, and making sure that you also 'plan' some 'me time'.

QuiteLikely5 · 20/12/2015 14:53

Don't think too much about what you need to do just get up and start doing it. Doesn't matter what order just get in with one or two things and keep going until you feel you can't go no more

Original poster

Ikeatears · 20/12/2015 14:57

I'm normally very organised and I've felt OK about it all up to today. Now I just feel anxious and stressed and tearful and completely overwhelmed. I want to cancel the whole thing and just stay in bed on my own. I thought I was getting better

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originalmavis · 20/12/2015 14:59

God, everyone is stressed about it! It's so much pressure to be 'perfect'!

Original poster

Ikeatears · 20/12/2015 15:32

I normally love Christmas and there are always lots of people in and out of our house. I've been so ill since September but I really thought I was pretty much better. I feel like I've gone back about a month.
I also can't stand the thought of seeing relatives and friends who know I've been ill but who I haven't seen. I don't want the questions. I also don't want my parents getting drunk and wanting to talk about it. I just want to curl up and ignore it all

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GetSchwifty · 20/12/2015 15:41

It's ok to have a bad day/few days. It doesn't necessarily mean you're getting worse, sometimes things get on top of us more than usual, especially this time of year. Have a cry or rest, make a cup of tea, go for a walk or listen to calming music.
Lists can be good but very long ones can be overwhelming. Perhaps try to do a top three things per day. What three things can be done today, what can wait until tomorrow? And by all means ask your DH to help, you don't have to do it all by yourself.
Be kind to yourself and take things one day at a time.

Original poster

Ikeatears · 20/12/2015 15:46

Thanks, we're going to some friends for dinner. I've got dressed and the dc are all ready. Dh has been to get a couple of presents for them and wrapped them. I'm very unfair on him. He's treading on egg shells because he's terrified of things going backwards.
I tidied the house the other day and it's an absolute state again. I'm going to get the dc to have a quick tidy before we go out I think. I hate feeling like this. I had actually started to look forward to Christmas and now I just can't face it

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WyrdByrd · 20/12/2015 22:48

Hope you've managed to have a good evening.

You're not unfair on your DH - you're unwell, but you are very lucky that he's supportive.

My DH is basically a good bloke but comes from a very 'stiff upper lip' type family and just does not get my anxiety/depression issues at all.

When you're feeling up to it, sit down with your DH and your list - eliminate anything non-essential and divide the tasks up between you. It sounds like you're doing really well in you recovery but you still need to go easy on yourself .

Snog · 20/12/2015 23:14

The same happened to me his weekend, my most anxious day today for months
It's horrible isn't it?
I'm trying to slow down and delete some stuff from my schedule but I find it really hard.
Think of it as a blip on the upward trend to recovery.

Original poster

Ikeatears · 20/12/2015 23:52

Thanks all. We had a nice evening with our lovely friends who've been a huge support to us these last few months. I'm not feeling 100% but I do feel better than I did earlier. Going to try to get some sleep now - tomorrow is another day...

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willowcatkin111 · 21/12/2015 03:19

Try to take it a day at a time and let your dh take the strain. I am dreading Christmas but am basically leaving all the planning cooking etc to dh - he and the dc know it is the only way I will cope. I am deliberately not thinking of the day and will decide about visiting family that morning. Again dh and the dc know and understand. I hope you feel OK and be sure to take all the help you can - your family I am sure will be happy to help rather than you get stressed about it all.

Original poster

Ikeatears · 21/12/2015 07:37

Thanks Willow. Unfortunately, Dh only gets a limited time off over Christmas so I'll have to do most of it. I will get the dc to help where they can, although the oldest is only 13. I'm wide awake so I'm going to get up and go shopping now before it gets too busy. Dh is working from home so I'm
Going to leave the dc here with a simple list of jobs for them to do.
I'm just going to try to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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Original poster

Ikeatears · 21/12/2015 10:13

Well, I was up and out at 8am! Done almost all the food shopping, going to see my mum now to give her her meds, meet my sister for last bits from Costco then back to print out photos for presents. Ds 2 and 3 (age 5 and 9) have been following a list I left and have tidied and cleaned 3 rooms so far (paid in chocolate coins) ds1 (13) is about to join them. I can do this!

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willowcatkin111 · 21/12/2015 18:47

sounds awesome, well done!. I haven't managed anything today except try to claim JSA and failed and tried to get referred for a scan for my shoulder and failed again. Given up doing anything for now ...
Love the idea of paying dc in chocolate coins

Original poster

Ikeatears · 21/12/2015 20:02

I'm trying to take each day at a time at the moment. I hope tomorrow's a better day for you Willow.

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