I'm the worst mum ever

[HHH3]

DS2's father committed suicide when he was a baby. My heart breaks for him when I think about him finding out when he's old enough.

And yet...here I am contemplating exactly the same thing. How fucking selfish is that?

Hiya Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you care deeply for your children. I'm sure you aren't selfish- you feel crap and are aware of the negative impact of suicide on others. Are you getting any help?

Ring someone

Have you ever had any support for feeling down like this before? Could you ring your GP out of hours service or NHS 111?

I can't ring anyone - I can't say the words to explain how I feel.

I have a long history of self harm and suicide attempts. Apparently I've been referred to CMHT (again. But we've just moved house so this will be a new team) but I haven't heard anything yet.

Is anyone there with you tonight?

No. I'm a lone parent. DS1 is at his dad's. DS2 is in bed.

I sorry you are feeling like this. Can you email [email protected] ?
Just put you have put here.

You are not selfish, just a person who is struggling. But your kids need you so much.

I've been texting with them.

Need to put a smile on and get through today.

Hope your day has been OK.

How old is ds2? Who would look after him if you were gone?

You are not a bad mum. You are suffering and need support. Can you chase CMHT? Did you stay in contact with the Samaritans?
Thinking of you.

Things aren't good. Ended up at a&e last night. They let me home as a friend stayed over. Have got friends popping in or calling at various times today. Should hear from CMHT tomorrow and children's services are involved now too

Good. I hope this is the turning point for you. Your children deserve a happy healthy mum but more importantly you deserve to be happy

I hope so too because I can't keep on like this.