I've lost the plot and IABU

[Fizzielove]

I feel like I've had enough of this life . I can't stop crying and just think I'd be best to go.

But I can't can I ? I have 2 DC who would be devastated. DH could start again.

Sorry feeling crazy....

Can you tell us a bit more - am sure there are people who would like to help

What's happened, Fizzie? Please don't think of doing anything like that. Talk to us here about what's wrong.

Fizzie keep talking love, talk to us here

Hi Fizzie - you don't sound as if you are BU, you sound as though you're really struggling which is totally reasonable and understandable but most importantly, solvable. Could you tell us a little bit more? Keep posting even if it's just to have an outlet, sometimes the act of writing things down really helps. Take it one breath at a time. Keep talking to us lovely x

You haven't lost the plot, because you are right, you can't end it. Your DC would be devastated.

Must mean you are pretty important to them. Hang onto that. Remember it while you talk to us.

What has made you feel like this?

DM DF DB all gone and I just want to join them.

Do what they can't and live for them, keep the happy memories alive inside of you. Speak to your GP and get as well as you can.

Sorry about your losses. It's awful to feel so alone .

What makes you think your DH could just start again without feeling devastated?

Sweetheart, you have people who care about you and who love you. Grief is overwhelming and literally heart breaking, but your DM, DF and DB would want you to live and be happy.

Please find someone in RL who you can reach out to now. If there's no-one around, please call the Samaritans on 116 123 - it's a free number, totally confidential and you don't have to give your real name.

Keep talking to us on here as well, but reach out and talk to someone. Now. Much love xxxxxx

Cruse is also really helpful for bereavement 020 8964 3455 xx

Hey fizzie. You can recover from feeling this way. I did.

Oh I'm so sorry, bereavement is such a difficult thing to cope with. Is your DH supportive?

It's definitely not best to go, because look at the pain you are feeling. I know you don't want your children to feel that.

Fizzielove Please will you,

Speak to the Samaritans,

Speak as soon as is possible to your GP on Monday morning and tell him or her exactly how you are feeling,

and keep posting here.

Sounds to me your suffering from a reactive depression and that is curable and treatable you just need the right help and support.

Bless you:)

You really need to speak to a gp asap as well as somewhere like cruise or the Samaritans. Also talk to your dh so he can support you. There is always a way through. X

Have taken my diazepam hope it helps

Can I add that I think you are awesome. You are literally screaming out for help. And help you will get pet. What you need to do is scream for the same help from the nhs. You know absolutely that you don't want this to happen. But you cant help what is happening to you. For that reason you need a doctor. Just as simple as that. They WILL help you pet. That is their job.
Just as if someone has cancer and doesn't want to die, they go for treatment, you my little angel also need treatment.
You can recover. I promise. X

Hope my post didn't come across as condescending. I know from experience the desperation. I also know that you can recover and not have to feel this way.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. You can also go to the Samaritans' website here, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

All the very best from MNHQ

I am so sorry Fizzie
Reaching out is such an important step, talk to us all for as long as you need we will listen.
Your g.p/Samaritans can offer you further support.
You are so important to this world and to your children
x

Please don't make any drastic decisions. You are not thinking clearly at the moment because you are depressed, it is your illness making you think that your DH could just "start again". He would be devastated if he lost you. People love and need you. Depression is cruel and deceptive and it's greatest lie is making sufferers think their loved ones would be better off without them. Bereavement by suicide is a wound that never truly heals.

Please let your husband or another trusted person know how you feel, you shouldn't be alone. Please, please get help. You can call the Samaritans free on 116 123 if you are in the UK. Also try contacting www.mind.org.uk/ for support and go to your doctor first thing on Monday. You can get through this.

What are you doing this evening Fizzie? Can you tell us a bit more about yourself? Only stuff that feels safe, of course.