Where does it come from? Depressing Alert!!

[HappyMellowmas]

I feel terrible. V depressed, shaky, tearful, lump in chest etc etc.

I felt fine a few weeks back. I wonder where it all comes from? I wonder if it ever goes away?

I have phoned my GP as was thinking last night if I had a pill to end it all would take it. I am too much of a coward to jump off a bridge and I know the whole wrist thing doesn't often work anyway.

It will go away. Hang on in there. Are you on ADs?

I don't think it ever goes away completely, I've dealt with various degrees of depression since being a teenager, from self harm to PND just 18 months ago.

Can you think what triggered the feelings? Is it Xmas? Money? Relationship?

don't end it all, you're a better, stronger person than this, fight it and come out the other end even stronger.

Gp is writing out a presc for some more today.

Took one an hour ago. Been off them for few months, feel terrible. Its not right for your brian to feel this way. Sorry to be so depressing.

No real problems. I just seem to dwell on past problems, re-living conversations, texts, lie from 3 years ago, although all the bad things did happen at this time of year, unfortunatly.

I worry a little bit about presents I have to buy for some friends dc but not to the point to make me feel as ill.

We have probably had the best year ever this year. I will probably feel better in a few weeks. Thanks for listening.

It sounds as though you really do need someone to talk through things with you and give you some control back, lay some ghosts etc

Can you put your name down for counselling, in the short term ring a helpline if you need to offload?

There is also an online CBT available if that would help you address your thoughts at all?

Right, I've also done this, going over and over things that have happened in the past and getting myself so upset over them. Part of it is being a woman, your brain naturaly works over time.
You need to think of the positives, and when you start feeling bad, htinking about the past, find something else to concentrate on. Go make the beds / clean bathroom / go on a walk / read a book to DC's anything to stop you thinking of the past.
You say you've had a good year, probably your best year, so could you write down everything about next year you are looking forward to, or planning on doing? I've found that having a goal to reach always keeps me going.
Please don't disappear into internet land, come back and keep talking.

it might not be what you feel like at the moment but here is a link to thread about a free trial for CBT here

We had some counselling at the time and it seemed to work.

I was a bit reluctant to take prozac again as I am afraid they will make my mind work even faster (although I am unsure if that is possible atm), they also give me bad dreams.

GP says better to have bad dreams than feel like this which it true. I am going to go do some cleaning and take my mind off things.

I had seen a link to CBT website on here the other day but I didnt go as far as to register as dh was off ill at the time and ds running about mad.

I seen someone had posted on here saying it can take 10 years to get over an emotional upset, I am only on year 3 so maybe this is normal

thanks zippi, will try it out

there are different types of ads so something else might be better for you, I know what you mean about trying different things though..it wouyld be nice a) not to have to and b) if something just workded without trial and error it is depressing itself isn't it?