Out socially when off work with anxiety

[Sheepymooves]

Would you do it?

I've been invited out and would love to try and get out but not sure if it's appropriate?

please go. it will be a step towards recovery.

A few years ago I was out in a bar and saw a colleague there, who was off work at the time with depression. I mentioned it to his manager, who was also my best friend and he ended up getting the sack. I really didn't expect that outcome at all and possibly would have kept it to myself had I known. To be honest he wasn't sacked/encouraged to leave for that reason alone and I'm not sure if he'd gone on sick with depression after a string of performance issues. It was a few years ago now, so hard to fully recall but on the basis of this, I'd urge caution on socialising and try and limit it to places you are unlikely to be seen by colleagues . That said, I do think getting out and braving difficult scenarios are all part and parcel of getting better and any decent employer should recognise that.

Interesting. It is the pub and it is quite likely I could see a colleague.

My performance at work was really fantastic though before I had to go off and I have been signed off by the GP and OH.

It's not on the lash though!

Really you should be able to but it really depends on the work environment- my old work were very judgey about this sort of thing sadly nhs based :(

Go!
Would you be asking if it was ok to go to the supermarket, or the dentist? What if you went for a coffee?
Just because you're not fit for work it doesn't mean you're not fit for anything.
When I had similar problems my gp told me specifically to keep socialising with my friends as it would help.
Please don't be put off by what some asshat might think.

I have a feeling this guy was constantly under performance review and the writing was on the wall, so he did the age old thing of signing off on sick. So not at all like your situation. I should think you'd be ok and socialising is def a positive step forward.

I know our bosses would think - "if your well enough to go out your well enough to go to work '

Yourface I can't believe you did that. At best thoughtless and at worst nasty.

OP, as long as it's not with colleagues, you should go.

No not with colleagues! With PTA mums in a pub at the end of my road.

But there is a chance I could see a colleague who lives near.

Ideally you should be able to go.
Realistically don't go if you think you will see a colleague.
No everyone is understanding.
People can be thoughtless and cruel.

I'd like to think I would feel it would help towards recovery.

I feel i wouldn't and would judge.

Sorry op.

FWIW, if I saw you, I might wonder, but I wouldn't judge, and I certainly wouldn't dream of telling your manager.

It does depend on your work's code of conduct, if there is one. Ours states that people off sick should not go out socialising or on holiday, unless told to do so by the doctor! I was quite surprised when I read it.

That's really interesting! I wonder what socialising is classed as! Certainly food for thought and not sure I'll go now.

Have been to a Christening that I had to run out I half way through and out for lunch a few times with DH when I feel safe.

I had terrible anxiety many moons ago, long since departed but going out was part of getting better. Every MH person I have ever spoken to has preached of the importance of a daily outing.

However, not the pub when you're off work, if it were starbucks it would be different, it shouldn't be, but it is. I wouldn't judge obviously, but there are some people who would, and they might not judge you at a coffee place or in a shop, but they might see it as "oh she's out drinking" kind of thing. People who don't know or understand these things can judge badly. See Yourfaces post for that.

Speaking of that, Yourface, did it ever occur to you that his performance issues were because of his depression and that is why he went off sick, not because he was trying to dodge them?

I wouldn't. Honestly - I just think it doesn't look great.

Oh and OP, I hope you feel better soon! I had horrible, terrible anxiety/weird phobias and panic attacks and I have been free of them for years and years now. Best of luck in your continued recovery

So fucking what if it doesn't look great. Someone with anxiety or depression needs to socialise to get better. The small risk of someone ignorant judging them for it is worth taking for the sake of their mental health.
FFS.

I think it depends on how much your colleagues know. I was once invited out with work when I was off work with anxiety. If was caused by my then bfs very bad depression and managers knew why and I didn't keep it from anyone who asked. People who just worked in the office and didn't know probably just assumed I was on holiday.

Would you be able to explain the situation if you did see a particular colleague?

Also, there are employment laws to protect you in situations like this. An employer can't just dismiss someone who is off sick.

There will be other opportunities, just not down the pub. If you're off work it's not appropriate. Loads of other timesto socialise, but you really do have to think carefully.

I understand the 'she's out drinking' thing doesn't look great!

Ah what a shame I think it would cause me more anxiety worrying if I was going to be seen than going and it possibly helping.

My family have invited me out on a meal on. Sat too! Preceded by the pub. DH will be there. Maybe more acceptable than with a group of friends? I might give the pub a miss Sat and meet them at the (quiet) restaurant X

It would have definitely caused me more anxiety to go to the pub with the thought of being seen. A quiet restaurant is a bit different. Go, have a great time!