Out socially when off work with anxiety

[Sheepymooves]

Would you do it?

I've been invited out and would love to try and get out but not sure if it's appropriate?

I wouldn't I'm afraid. Essential trips yes but the pub would be a definite no no.

so what is she only allowed to go to the shops for a pint of milk? have you ever had anxiety?

two going to the pub or any social situation is encouraged for those suffering depression, stress and anxiety. Drinking alcohol is not encouraged but going out is. It would be so easy for me to only make one or two essential trips a week however that would have a detrimental affect on my MH, I would become isolated more afraid and more depressed. It isn't like the OP has a stomach bug and is off work FGS it is way more complex than that.

I bet none of the people saying "don't go" have ever had anxiety or depression.

I said don't go to the pub. I have had anxiety to a very serious degree in the past.

No. Never had anxiety or depression. But unfortunately have had to shoulder extra workload when colleagues off long term. Gave me lots more pressure at work. I know it's not the OP's fault that she is off but I'd feel that going to the pub is taking the piss a bit. Like the colleague managing to come to the work Christmas do enthusing about how much decorating she'd managed to do to her house. Glad she's feeling better but don't rub our noses in it. Meeting friends for quiet coffee etc not a problem. The pub is a step too far.

OP. Can go in to a pub and drink coffe, why is that not ok but going in to a cafe is? I am pleased you have never suffered two it is a horrid thing to live with and I am not sure you small closed mind could handle it

Just saying that there is a knock on effect when people are off long term. I have no problem with that. If you're ill you're ill. Somehow the pub is a different environment with different connotations.

The fact that you are shouldering the extra work of a long term sick coworker isn't their fault that is down to your company, they should employ a temp or share extra work fairly. So why blame the sick person?
My GP encourages me to spend time in places I would normally so that includes the pub. I can be having a meal or joining in the quiz all without drinking. Most of the time it is also without full enjoyment but I know it is all part of me getting back to normality.

I said that I have no problem with that. If you're ill you're ill. Not the ill persons fault.

An alternative view. I had a member of my staff off with anxiety and I asked if they would like to join our informal team Xmas meal. I felt it important to include them in just the same way as I included another member off sick because his leg was in a caste. Both came.

My personal view is, just because you are off sick you still need to go out. As long as you think your GP will support you if any 'questions' are raised, then do it. Obviously, as you say, don't go on the lash but quite frankly who the hell is a colleague seeing you out and about qualified to pass any medical judgement. And they shouldn't know why you are off anyway (confidentiality).

I was actively encouraged when I was off sick by my doc and therapist to get out of the house and socialise.

Notajammydogder - you are a brilliant boss! I wish there were more like you.

Twowrongs - you have no idea!! really no idea - i am sorry you had to shoulder extra work (always thought that was part of working in a team) I just hope that you never have to deal with anxiety and depression. It is an illness just like any other although people often have to deal with other peoples ignorance on top of it - it really isn't helpful.

My friend was off work for a year, she had breast cancer and needed surgery followed by chemo. Some days she couldn't get out of bed because the chemo whacked her so badly, other days she would be able to go for coffee and meals and yes, even to the pub. I do think her colleagues had to shoulder some extra works and even take on extra shifts at work but they were the ones taking her to the pub! Do you think she was taking the piss too? or is that different because she was "really ill"??

This sort of attitude boils my piss it really does.

Sorry to rant on your thread OP but i really hope you did go out last night and that you go for that meal with your family today, you deserve a break from your illness and this sort of thing is just what you need.

Hi OP, how are you? Did you go out this weekend and if so how did it go?

Yes I did and had a lovely time thank you! I did feel anxious but I got through it and no panic attacks.

I'm now looking forward to trying the school run on my own tomorrow after a horrible week with them last week.

So it was helpful! I also told all the mums about it.

I do feel worried I'll get 'found out' as it's a small town and if still feels like I've done something wrong.

So glad you went and had a lovely time! Well done for going Try and keep reminding yourself that you did nothing wrong. You did exactly what you need to do to get better - which means you will eventually be well enough to go back to work.

Well done OP, definitely a good step forward.

I've been there too, and I know just how impossible it seems to even contemplate going out. Telling others does help (I shied away from telling anyone for weeks), so many others will know what depression and anxiety is like and be able to support and encourage you.

So what if you get found out ? You're simply taking small steps back to a more 'normal' life and doing whatever is 'normal' for you.

and hopefully things are on the up for you x

Thank you so much for your kind wishes.

I'll let you know how the school run goes!

Well done you!! i am sooo glad you went. i know it would have taken a lot.