Found DD, 7, sobbing in bed earlier because she's worried I'm sad all the time and wants to make me happy.

[notquitesureagain]

Utterly devastated. Can't believe I've let her down so badly and made her have to live with this. I'm really really worried I've done her permanent damage because she's been holding all this and feeling responsible for me.

I can't believe she's picked up on it all. No-one else has and I thought I'd been doing a really good job of appearing to be together. So gutted. She was so upset.

Had already decided to go to the GP tomorrow morning because i know something's not right and I've been all over the place internally - swinging between really fast between highs and lows, sleep patterns all over the shop, struggling to eat, trying to repress impulses to do really damaging stuff. But I'm so horrified that it's affected her. It's awful - I feel so so terrible. Not sure what I'm hoping to achieve by posting, just trying to process it all and can't think of anyone in RL I can talk to right now

Children are quite observant. The key thing to stress to her is that this is absolutely not her fault and it's not her responsibility to make you better.

If you're going to get help, discuss what it is you're doing, so she knows you're off to the doctors and what you will be doing to help get yourself better.

I can really sympathise with the guilt. I'm dreadful when I'm ill and it takes its toll on the children. Being open with them - not about the bad stuff in my head, but about what I will do to get better - and giving lots of reassurance will manage most of it.

Try not to beat yourself up about it too much. Hard, I know. Parental guilt + being ill = bad combination.