Black clouds everywhere

[MakeThemEatCake]

Not even sure where to start - completely overwhelmed :(

I just need someone to say it's ok to feel like this and to understand it is horrible, not to tell me to "think positive", "sort my life out" or basically minimise the hell I'm feeling.

Hi there, I don't know the details of how you are feeling, but I want to reassure you the 'sort yourself out' advice is totally wrong.

My GP recommended a book called 'Depression: Curse of the Strong' by Dr Tim Cantopher. He explains how depression is caused by your brain 'blowing a fuse' after carrying on without help for far too long.

It is a real illness and you must have help and rest. Here is the excerpt, and I send you the best. It is horrific, and you deserve to feel better.

www.lanternsurgery.co.uk/website/H81672/files/Depressive_Illness_Curse_of_the_strong.pdf

Thank you so much for the reply MummyMoving, I've just skim read that link and will have a more thorough read when DS is in bed later - can't put into words how much it means for you to take me seriously! No one else does! (Except maybe my counsellor but only seen her twice)

I have so many issues and unresolved problems and don't know where to start to deal with them - the main thing is that the world feels grim and I can't cope with things hour to hour... honestly, I would like to go to bed and sleep for days on end!

Nothing useful to add except to say that you are describing exactly how my husband was feeling a few years ago. He was told- by a GP - to take long walk and listen to some loud music and he'd be fine. I was told - by the same GP - that my husband's behaviour was bizarre - yes, I already knew that! He saw a different GP and was taken seriously. It took a long time, but it is all behind us now and life is better than ever. Do you have support in RL? If you can find a supportive GP then that is the first step to recovery. Do wek help. It is out there.

Thank you Ladylinda - how is your husband feeling now? How horrific :( That it took so long for him to be taken seriously

No, I honestly don't have support in RL - I have about 2 people who say they understand, but no one to facilitate the help I need to get better.

I think they all think I'm a big fraud :(

He is completely recovered now, Cake. He is not the same as before, but, I think, a lot more sympathetic to others because of what happened. He is, and I suspect , always will be, on a low dose of venlafaxine, but that has no impact on everyday life. He is fortunate that he was able to retire early and thus remove the source of much of what caused the problem in the first place. You are in no way a fraud, and I just hope you can find simeone who can help you begin the long road to recovery.

Glad to hear he has recovered now. It will have changed him, no doubt, but not necessarily a bad thing as it does open your eyes to the darkness of human emotions - as you say he'll always be understanding of others who are suffering, and I'm sure you will be too.

I'm glad he retired, best thing if it was contributing to his issues, and I hope he continues to be happier now :)

Thanks for saying I'm not a fraud, I think it's because I do have 'good' days, where I'm almost happy. If people catch me on these days they say: "Look at you, smiling and optimistic! I really don't think you're depressed you know, just a bit dramatic".

So, it's a case of a day at a time right now and not doing too much to stress me out, which is very little tbh!

Thanks for your support