just need to talk. so lonely.

[gemsio]

Just wondering if anyone is around to chat all on my own feel pretty low my DD is in bed. my DS is away with my estranged H. I feel like I am cracking up.

Hello gemsio

Hi. How are you?

Not too bad today. How are you doing?

I'm here, what do you fancy talking about?

Feeling pretty low and quite anxious which is Wierd as anxiety isn't my usual problem. I tried to contact my ex H, to check on my DS and he didn't answer so I started to panic and it went on from there. we are recently split, he left because if my depression. Just feeling anxious and angry.

You know what, I had a knock back today and it didn't floor me! I'm amazed with myself as i don't normally roll with the punches.

X-posted with you there, gemsio. Are you worried something's happened or do you think ex is messing with you?

That's good to hear! I am normally quite good at bouncing back from things but recently and today I have just not managed it. I just find myself wandering around the house, so angry at ex H for leaving me for something I have no control over. just feel like screaming, but obviously don't want to wake my DD.

gemsio the exact same situation you've just described happened to me a few months back, it's so awful that panicking feeling. Did you manage to get hold of him? How are you feeling now?

what about getting in bed with your sleeping DD - would that calm you?

sorry just saw the next post after I posted. he said he was out of range which is possible as he is out in the sticks, but he knows how I am feeling and I asked him to be available if I needed to check on my DS.
He finally called and he was out with his friend, leaving my DS with his mum. I hope he doesn't wake up as he doesn't know them too well and will freak out. I think I am just getting worked up over stuff that has never happened yet (my big problem)

sorry hasn't happened not never has happened! it seems my grammar goes to shit when I am anxious! that's new! x

Oh gem I completely get you, it's so hard to control the panic once it starts spiralling isn't it? How old is your DS? I think it sounds like your ex is being very insensitive.

Thankyou. He is only 2. And he is going through a big seperation anxiety thing, mainly because his dad has left.
Yes, as always my ex is totally oblivious to how I feel when I can't check on him. I know he will be fine. But for him to go out with friends and leave him just makes me angry.

I don't blame you for being angry but your boy is safe and sleeping now. When will he be back with you?

He will be fine. But I know how patronising I always find it when people say that to me! Anxiety isn't a rational thing and I completely get where you are coming from. It's such a horrible feeling.
I know that there's not much that a stranger on the Internet can say that will make you feel less anxious but I just wanted to say that I really do get how you feel.

thanks guys, Just having this chat has helped me calm down. I know he is fine.
He will be back on Thursday, so am looking forward to seeing him.
I really appreciate just chatting to me, I really needed it.x

Next time you're anxious, put House of Cards on Netflix. It is so baffling you will forget what you're worrying about

Night night gemsio and HelpMeS&B

No worries, any time

Night both x

I will try that Thankyou. night both. sweet dreams.x