Keeping safe

[prettydaisies]

I have spent the last couple of hours trying hard to keep myself safe when I don't feel it. It's so hard and tiring. I'm now in bed and am more relaxed so think I'll be ok now. How do you manage?

This might sound odd and it might not work for others, but I listen to songs that make me cry. Then it's like I have this huge surge of emotion and I cry and cry until I can't cry any more. Usually then I feel a little bit better at least. It sounds strange to say but I have noticed that the feeling of desperation I get that leads me to feel suicidal is actually pent up emotions that are now rising to the surface through therapy etc. I hope I haven't offended anyone by that. I don't mean it to sound like 'have a good cry and everything will be ok' because I know it's not that simple. It's just that it can sometimes work for me.

I wish I could cry, but I rarely do. I do get very agitated. I hate all this.

Are you having any sort of therapy at all? Or are you taking any medication?

Yes, I do take medication, but my gp wants me to change, but I think I need to see soneone else to sort it out. Got a bit muddled with what she was saying. I also have counselling. I hurt myself, but my surgery have said to try and see them before rather than after.
Sorry Iwas and Bisley that you feel like this too.

Still struggling and don't know what to do. I'm just wasting everybody's time.

So many hurting people on here at the moment.
I think it doesn't lie at the feet of the nhs to sort it, though of course they should provide services to get people through.
But I think the world needs to change. The world we live in today terrifies me and I do wander how I am ever going to cope in it.