please, anyone there? Just this evening?

[keepingmum121]

Anyone there just to talk? I am so stressed, sad and scared.

I couldn't read and run.
So sorry you are going through this.
You are a victim of crime. Get help from victim support.

Hi. How are you feeling today? I hope you got some sleep.

Thank you for asking. I am alright. Busy today, which has so far kept my mind in check. X

Is anyone around to hear me explode? I am desperate :(

I'm here to listen. How are you?

Thank you so much! Have you read the thread for context?

Yes Ive read it. So sorry this has happened to you.

Hi again - has anything in particular happened or is it all just getting on top of you?

I am feeling terrified because one of my friends (and I do consider her a friend, despite what I say about her here) can be extremely difficult when on the subject of what happened to me.

She doesn't realize it but she hurts me so bad by coming out constantly with statements that imply I was to blame/should have responded differently etc.

She was with me the very day after the incident (when I was in a shocked and fuddled state) and kindly took me in her car to get the necessary medical attention.

Now the police officer has contacted her for a statement. I am sick with fear about what she'll say. She could easily hinder my case if she projects her wrong assumptions as she does ALL the time when she talks with me.

I feel so afraid :(

Thank you for listening

Don't be afraid I'm sure your friend will answer honestly and police are trained in questioning others, they wont just go on what she tells them. I'm sorry you are so afraid.

Ouch. I guess you could try telling yourself that you can't control it and worrying won't make any difference to what she says?

Also with any luck they'll be used to it to a certain extent - people sometimes do tend to minimise awful things that have happened to people they love because it would hurt too much to think otherwise.

I admire you for going through this on top of the assault; it must be so hard.

Also, they won't really be interested in what she thinks you should have or could have done - I assume they'll want to know concrete stuff, what she saw/heard, what you did, what she did?

She told the police officer that she is too busy to meet her this week and it would have to wait until next week. When the po said that this week was necessary, my friend suggested writing a statement and emailing it. In my mind, this could be even worse.
She just does not get it at all! She's the kind of person who thinks that this crime is committed primarily by strangers in alley ways. When at first I told her, she said things like: "well of course you could have pushed him off" and "you must have known what he expected". She also asked me if i was sure, implying that it was possibly just regretful sex.
I feel like screaming!

Even the stuff that should be 'concrete', she puts words in my mouth that I never said. Maybe I said something that she misunderstood and then she 'remembered' me saying the thing that she thought I meant. That seems to have happened a lot.

Remember she wasn't the one it happened to and wasn't there when it happened all she knows is what you have told her.

Try not to worry.

I know that's easier said than done.

But what if she incorrectly reports me as having said something I didn't? Shall I email the po separately and ask that I get the chance to go through her statement?

You could ask but I'm unsure if that's legal, if she was with you the day after surely that's what the police will be interested in.

Try not to torment yourself with what-ifs keeping.

I can't get the fear out of me. My tummy hurts. I want the truth to come out of this. I want him to admit it. Why did this happen to me? If I ask that to her, she would say I made foolish choices. I am feeling beside myself with distress. But it is all trapped inside. My face is neutral. My children are around me as I type here in the living room and they don't suspect that I'm dying inside.

I think I will go for a bath. I need to calm down.

Thank you both for responding. I will pop back later.

Have a nice bath and try to unwind a bit and relax.

Why did this happen to me?

Because he chose to commit a criminal act against you. It could just as easily have been someone else - your friend, or me. You are not responsible for his behaviour.

It's fucking horrible that he did this to you. It must be so hard holding yourself together like this.

I hope you feel a little calmer after your bath.