please, anyone there? Just this evening?

[keepingmum121]

Anyone there just to talk? I am so stressed, sad and scared.

Ugh. What a horrible horrible person.

Facing him every week must be tough. Is it possible to attend distant services? No, you shouldn't have to, but only you will look after your own mental health, he has not an ounce of compassion or decency so will not care about causing you further suffering. It might be a stupid question, but would it be possible to confide in the vicar/preist? Even partially?

Perhaps he felt entitled as I allowed it before (once). But I had made it crystal clear that I didn't want to do it again. BUT, I did let him in my house. I wanted his company. I liked him. I was ill that day (fever and cough). I bet he gets off :(

Different services. Sorry, I'm being so fat fingered on this stupid key pad tonight.

The minister knows and has spoken to him. He insists it was consensual and that he didn't hear me say stop. He says I am mentally disturbed, therefore I have accused him.

No means no. Morally AND in the eyes of the law. A husband can rape a wife in the eyes of the law, consentust be gained every time. You said no, it doesn't matter if you'd being having consensual sex five minutes before, it is still NO. And he was violent, he forced you - it wasn't your fault.

the problem is proving it...

You said No. No is no. He knows you said no which is why he is saying you are disturbed. You are not disturbed. You have had a traumatic experience.

Don't harm yourself. He has hurt you enough already.

You did the right thing by reporting it. Have you contacted any of the charities for counselling?

Have photos of your injuries been taken?

I don't want counselling. I am sick of counselling. I want him to admit his wrong. If he did, I would forgive him.

Yes, I have photos. He told the police they could be love bites. They are so clearly bruises, in the shape of finger prints, up my neck.

Did the minister report back to you that your attacker thinks you are mentally disturbed? I would honestly avoid any more information from him and just concentrate on the case. Continue to confide in your minister if it is helpful, but maybe ask for his help in keeping the scum the hell away from you. May I ask, are you quite young? Do you have close family?

No, you wouldn't forgive him. If he ever admits wrongdoing you can bet it will be in his own interest. You can choose to move on and you will eventually, bur he doesn't deserve your forgiveness or understanding. If you are both churchgoers then you believe he will get judgement enough... save your kindness for yourself, it's you who deserves it x

Ha, I am not young. I am 38!! But as I was also violated when young (20), in an even worse scenario (I was a virgin and he dragged me to a secluded place), I seem to have never recovered or managed to judge men correctly. I feel like I never grew up.
I love my family, but I never tell them anything. They know nothing of this. Even if it gets to court, I'll never tell them.

Counselling is hard, but stay open to the idea for when you are ready x

That's quite a burden to carry alone

I have told some friends. Just not family.

Right, my dd is having a disturbed night because of her cough, I need to go to her to resettle her then get some sleep myself. I'm thinking of you, and I hope you get some sleep yourself. I'll check in in the morning of that's ok? But please, know you have done the right thing whatever the outcome in this imperfect world, and it was NOT your fault. Xxx

Thank you for talking to me. Goodnight xx

Keep talking ok, there's good people here. I'll be back tomorrow. Goodnight xx

Hey, I went to have a bath but have been thinking of you. I hope they get this guy but even if they don't, please know you are believed.

Thank you. I just want the chance for a jury to believe the same truth.

Oh wow! So drunk now. World is spinning!

Probably a nice level to leave it at - don't forget there's a bit of a delay for it to take effect

Hi Keeping mum, might be time to go to bed now

I believe you and am thinking of you.

What denomination of church do you go to? Hs the minister spoken to you?