Mental Normality NOS

[UpOnDown]

Everyone is welcome.

Sounds like a good productive day planned David.

I made a decision last night while I was slightly tipsy and lying in bed awake half the night that I am going to stop acting like I have a mental illness and hope that my insides change to match my outsides.

I was lying in bed feeling sorry for myself/worrying about things

glad you're feeling better David, and chap I hope the GP can reassure you

am going to see PT in a bit, I suppose I should tell her - on the plus side it is nice to have a culprit for the recent DOMS in which I feel like I've been punched hard in the quads, never used to have that problem

Does thyroid do that?

it does mad things

am mostly upset about further assault on bone density

obviously would not be so upset if had the more desirable symptoms of weight loss and feeling warm

Ive just turned up at the cmht for my blood test and they've said "ah it's caulkheadupnorth isn't it, I'll put you on the list" except it was my first name. I'm clearly here too much.

I just rang up my CMHT to ask to speak to the duty worker and they said "Is that Ennn?"

I called them because my decision to start behaving like a mentally normal person has meant I have lots of pent-up energy and nowhere to put it.

You will all be thrilled to find out that I have been told the secret to dealing with agitation.

I have to go out in the garden, and breathe in and out a lot. Then I have to have a nice warm bath. I should also listen to music.

I didn't have the heart to say "no" when he said "is that helpful". To be fair I'm not sure what I was expecting him to suggest.

I have just remembered I asked you all to remind me to try going to the gym The system works!

What time are you seeing the PT, Polly?

Chap, well done for making the appointment (I xposted with you)

I hope you have a lovely day too.

Glad gp was reassuring chap

never get the VIP lounge type treatment at CMHT and have been a customer on and off for YEARS

PT cancelled which is relief from point of view of the schlep there and back, also from worrying about whether to tell her about factitious hyperthyroidism

is rare for lithium to cause it, is a treatment for it (the worlds most foremost dr pointed out) so is more likely to be the familial graves disease

am just going to lie down and obsess over that until I go for a run later

Benn, remember GYM

Ennn not benn

Thanks bright, all togged up and ready to go out.

When it comes to people recognising you it helps to have a distinctive accent, I think (am northern, live in the south).

Surprised your calf is up to running yet Pol.

I'll just run/walk in 3:1 or 4:1 intervals as per physio

which reminds me must cancel physio on Monday

Glad you saw your GP, chap

Oh dear Ennn, they sound as useful as my lot. Do you find anything helps?

Gym. But it usually takes a couple of hours of hard work, and I have a haircut at 3.45. Have had to postpone gym a couple of minutes as the school use it at certain tines of day. But usually I listen to loud music and dance and sing, but that's not particularly mentally normal so I have decided to stop doing that as I font want people to think I have a mental disorder.

Am not actually distressed or anything thankfully, it's more that I don't want the face off people so was attempting to sit still and relax and it wasn't particularly useful.

what can they actually say/do though? there isn't really some secret magic thing that will help that they are the gatekeepers of

other than whisk people into hospital or bring them some temporary chemical assistance

Well, exactly. But they always seem to recommend relaxing things, and, frankly, fuck that cause it doesn't help. Have walked to gym and already feel better.

Secret magic would be good. Could you listen to loud music, dance and sing in private?

Private?

Nah, screw it, there's nothing wrong with listening to music. Great trip to the gym but why is it the weights bench was free the whole time right up until the point I wanted to use it?

DP is being suffocating. There is no private.

Fair enough. Big hugs. It isn't hurting anyone. It must be hard if you feel the need to appear mentally normal if you live with someone, I hadn't thought of that, at least I can be how I want within reason.

Thanks for the hugs!

am finding it impossible to leave the house and have promised to do something for two people and I HAVE to

where is all my promised weightloss and hyperactivity? this constant feeling of apprehension is debilitating and disabling

(((( polly ))))

You can do it...you have a lot to deal with at present.

I had another meltdown at work. My computer broke and IT told me that they won't have the budget to fix it until after April. I cried.

A group have colleagues have subsequently very politely conveyed to me that because I've been having so many recent meltdowns, they're no longer willing to co-work with me.

I'm now getting thoughts of the unmentionable.

I want to leave my job. But to leave my job now would be quite literal career suicide, and I know that losing all future job prospects would only make me feel worse.