Didnt apply for a job - feeling low today

[Mouldypineapple]

Am suffering with depression for a number of reasons. lost my job a year ago for health reasons (physical mainly) which have not really improved. Am on Sertraline (100mg) and having CBT.

I decided to apply for a part ime job i found in a local school. quite keen last week, went for an informal visit, really liked the idea of it. The deadline was 12.00 today (as in a little while ago). I knew deadline was today but thought tonight. Sat down this am to sort it and just havent been able to get my head in gear to sort it out and submit it! Now feeling really guilty and dont feel like I can admit to dh I screwed it up basically.

Have mixed feelings about getting a job (currently at home with dd5 - at school generally). Not desperate for job but think it will help my mental health as not really any good at this housework/housewife malarky!

Not sure why I'm posting really, just feeling fed up!

[ShowYourVeracity]

Mouldy, I know you posted a few days ago but I just wanted to reply. I am on sertraline and have been through a lot of ups and downs mentally, and it has been a long and twisty route to getting my work/family balance sorted out. Don't worry about missing the application - if it was the right time to get a job you would have got the application done. You don't sound sure about returning to work (with 5DC you must have your hands full). Have you thought about other things outside the home as a step (course or voluntary work)? Hope you are not feeing so fed up now.

[Somethingtodo]

Also want to show my support - give yourself a big pat on the back for all of the proactive actions you have taken to date:

• you found about about the job,
  
• you were motivated and confident to go and check it out
  
• you you intended to get the form in on time.
  

These are all positive actions - so what - you lost a bit of confidence or procrastinated at the application deadline....look at it as a practice run.

It is good to have a structure/routine and to get out working if you are depressed - you know this, you are seeking this, and this will happen soon.

I am in the same boat - left FT job last June due to MH issues - feeling better now and decided to apply for PT weekend job last week.

Messed up - was late for appt - as had no clean clothes so rushed out and bough cheap out fit from tesco - it didnt fit when I got home - so had to wear something grubby with a poncho (would have died if she suggested I take it off) - went with wet hair and no mascara (couldnt find it - looked hideous) - I could have blown it out but thought I could learn something from it and I did - I survived - didnt verbally mess anything up - and I now know that this is the type of work I want to do. I should have heard yesterday - now resigned that I will be rejected - but hey ho - I will just apply somewhere else not now waiting for job ad to come out - I am now going to door step owners and drop off CVs.

V hard being us - but we need to keep going - two steps forward - one step back - is progress and we will get there in the end!