Winter in the village - support for all kinds of MH issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis, bipolar...

[creamhearts]

I know the thread is a bit dead but I thought I would start a new one and see if we can keep it going xx

Yeah it is faith. I won't be going to another, but I didn't spend any money! How's your day going? I'm at college but can't get into it - mind racing. ..

So now my dm thinks she's dying my df is freaked and exhausted from caring for her since Oct my ds came down in tears because dh is out and it reminds him of when dh was in hospital and he's really sad. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this

oh CiQ you have so much on your plate just now :( Is there anyone who you can spend some time with , just for you? Why does your DM think she is dying? Im here for a bit if you want to chat

Well, ive just had a bombshell, my DD wanted to know who her dad was :( we found him on facebook - fuck

That must have been a shock for you lem. Is she wanting to contact him? How old is she now? (I.e. Could she do it independently of you) Does she know any relevant history?

Oh CiQ, you have so much going on. Is there any reason your mum thinks this (is she ill)? I think you have to focus on your DS first though. Is there anyway you can get extra help in for your dad (order meals, cleaner etc) so you can help, even if not in person.

Hope everyone has an easier day today.

Just Seen your other thread lem. Hope you're doing ok today xx

Can I come back please?i left the village because I felt great and massively selfish of me but I didn't want to read about people being sad, I was enjoying it but I properl realise now I was hypomanic/manic and selfish and impulsive, I now have very very short shaved bright pink hair, two new tattoos and lots of very expensive junk that I'm not sure why I bought it. (Also a £2000 loan which I didn't need but decided to see if they'd give me money, my bank needs to start doing some sort of assessment as to whether you should be able to take out a loan)

All of a sudden today it's over, I'm not happy and excited anymore. I'm not really anything anymore. I just feel empty like all the emotions of the last few weeks evaporated and left a big empty hole behind.
I could probably cope with being depressed all the time but to offer me glimpses of euphoria and then snatch it away is just cruel.
I'll uderst if no one wants me to come back I was an awful selfish bitch.

Hi spidey welcome anytime as far as I'm concerned ;) are you getting any support at the mo? Sounds v tough experiencing such extremes - forgive me if I'm wrong but do you have a Bipolar diagnosis of any kind, or (like my dh) is the mania a side effect of other meds like SSRIs?

lem, pyrrh thank you . My dm has been housebound since Oct with various infections, in bed a significant part of the time. How suffering with what GP says is inflammation of the lungs but she is completely incapacitated and my df is a full time carer. Have suggested the cleaner - thanks. I am going to pop over there tomorrow (to see my df more than my dm tbh) and will start to look at anything else that can be outsourced. Have also asked my dm to instruct her GP that I can speak about her medical situation (not sure if she will though)

lem (((hugs))) has that come completely out of the blue from your dd? really feel for you. Haven't seen your other thread but hope it is helpful.

pyrrh how are things with you now?

Hello everyone else snowy, silvery, faith, mythical, wasting, pulled, nana and anyone I've missed.

Thanks ciq
Not officially diagnosed no but psychiatrist said that they're working on the assumption that I am but they're not willing to diagnose until they've seen more more of my moods but then they seem to have abandoned me again do I don't think they give a shit anyway.

hmm. if they're anything like services round here they're probably completely over-run. Can you chase them nicely?

Welcome back spidey. i think we all dip in and out of the thread as we need it. i am sorry that you have crashed though. :( i feel the same as you about the bank - we over mortgaged due to the bank just giving out money without actually checking whether we could afford to pay it back. bastards.

my dd seems ok. hopefully it will now die down.

The thing is we can afford to pay it back, if they'd looked at the bank account they'd have seen that a couple of days before a cheque for just over 2k cleared, Dh got compensation for his car crash, so when I say we didn't need it we really didn't need it!
When I was in the bank filling the forms they asked what it was for and I had no idea I litera said "I don't know, I just want to see if you would give me money" she put "home improvement" Ive only just realised how irresponsible that really was, but then again I should be angry at Dh who just went along with every mad idea I suggested, he was so relieved that I wasn't depressed and and suicidal that he would've agreed to anything to keep me happy.
Ive reached out and phoned him at work to tell him how I feel.

spidey you could get your DH to think back and list the things that were "tells" for your increasing hypomania. For me, these were pressured (fast) speech, and poor sleep. He is your nearest relative for mh purposes, and can call services if he thinks you are "going." (This has been done twice for me, always with my consent - although I thought, at the time, that evaluation would show I was well - it didn't (rueful )

Your new look sounds quite something
I met someone in hospital who had bought a truck while manic. She just thought the family needed one, for some obscure reason.

On a serious note, phew, you didn't do anything that dropped you in the permanent shit.

My collection of wool appears to have grown exponentially but yeah nothing too permanent (except the tattoos but they're cool anyway)
Dh would never call for me because he's terrified of me going away or ss getting involved with ds so it's a case of me calling which I obviously felt I didn't need even though lookin back I can see that I was doing some pretty disturbing things.

Does his reticence extend to not telling you if he thinks you may be a bit OTT?

One problem with people in hypomania is that they can be very persuasive This means those around them can be drawn in, up to a point.

My horrible ex used to be my nearest relative, last time it was my DD as I am now well past divorce. I live on my own, my DM picked up a warning from talking to me on the phone (or rather, me talking to her!) and contacted DD. So I've found myself thinking about this over the last year.

He'll tell me he thinks I'm too giddy but then I just poo-poo it and tell him he's just trying to drag me down.
The Thing is that People seem to like me better when I'm hypomanic, probably because I'm more fun and I tend to buy weird things for people, this time I started a collection of hideous teapots from charity shops, the uglier the better but couldn't explain to anyone why it made me so excited and happy to find these things that no one wanted. No one really seems bothered by it so they won't think I need help.
Now I have too much money in the bank, a kitchen full of ugly teapots, pink hair, more wool than some yarn shops and about £120 worth of tattoos.
My eating habits have gone haywire too, sometimes I cant imagine eating anything and sometimes I can't stop eating, luckil it seems to be balancing it's self out and ive not gained weight, not lost any either though.

All I want from life is to wake up in the morning and know 100% that I'll be the same person I was yesterday and I'll be the same person tomorrow. At the moment I'm not sure I like either version of me and ive had enough of the roller coaster and I just want to get off.

Can you hand the loan back? Can you get a letter from a HCP to say you weren't in your right mind, in case the bank tries to charge you for this? That puts it out of tempation's way, so to speak, and returns things to how they were before, somewhat.

Are you normally frugal, like I am? I totally get the teapot thing, I suppose it's hard to know when that kind of thing has got out of hand. (I hovered round Lakeland last year hoping the Tardis Teapot would be in the sale - I couldn't justify the full price.) When I am a bit speedy I wander round Asda getting bargains.

I have just pissed my DBro off, because I think it's inadvisable for me to go down south to his b'day party at the same time as being in the middle of a house move. He tried to change my mind, but fgs my mh, my decision. Last year I was going to go south for another relative's party, but ended up on a psych ward the week before. I don't think I should risk a repeat!

Anyone around this eve? This morning dm told me how much she loves me etc "while I still can" she feels v strongly that she may not recover. My poor df is devastated and worried. I need to speak to her gp on mon and find out how likely it really is. And then this pm Itogok us all siren to visit dhs df in hosp. He was in such a bad mood I couldn't take the kids in, I did pop in to say Hello and tell him we live him and he told me to get out. It's been a great day! Not sure if I can face telling dh about this morning cos i expect a typical poor response which is actually worse for me than saying nothing to him.

Good grief. Hope everyone's Saturday's have been less hideous!

hi ciq - can you take some time for yourself to clear your head?

Take it one day at a time ciq - there is nothing you can do till Monday, is there? (sorry if I've got this wrong)

Am around for a bit. Have walnut fairy cakes in the oven. Am supposed to be sorting paperwork, and folders on the computer...

Thanks lem,silvery am now on sofa with feeling completely shell-shocked to be honest.

Hello folks.

Too much for me to read and catch up on, but a couple or things from me. A) I won my campaign to get beds back and women are now back in my local unit and B) I'm poorly and under the crisis team again.

So yay and arse all in one.

Oh keema you've done an amazing thing. Well done! !!!!!!!!

Really sorry it's taken its toll, hope things pick up soon x

wow keema - like ciq said, that is amazing. you should feel proud! i hope uou feel better soon x

Well done keema, hope you're feeling better soon.

How are you and DD lem?

ciq hope you manage a peaceful day today and get some answers from the gp tomorrow. Thanks for asking. Not doing great, just trying to get through.

Spidey if there's no way you can give the money back, can you put it aside in a separate account that can only be released to pay it off?

TSP Is it a big birthday for him? Certainly do what is best for you. Could you suggest meeting with him for a meal at a later date to celebrate?

Hope you're all doing ok, nana, snowy, cream, victrix, pulled and everyone else I've forgotten

Hi all, sorry I've not been around much. spidey as others have said, can you give the loan back? I took a loan out a while ago, looked into things as I could afford to pay it off quicker. Apparently if you pay it back but leave enough that you still need to pay one monthly payment, they won't charge you the early payback fee.

ciq how are you feeling this morning?

Hope everyone else is okay. I didn't go to work on Friday so I feel like my mind is rapidly turning to mush (even though it's only been 2 and a half days!). I'm surprisingly looking forward to tomorrow!