Winter in the village - support for all kinds of MH issues - depression, anxiety, OCD, psychosis, bipolar...

[creamhearts]

I know the thread is a bit dead but I thought I would start a new one and see if we can keep it going xx

Hi wasting welcome. Sorry you're having such a tough time.

faith that's great you had a good chat.

Hi everyone else. Back in from weekend with my lovely brother. It was def better than being here but my sil wasn't in the best mood/under the weather so that didn't help my paranoia....

I follow one of those positive outlook type pages on Facebook and tonight they shared this, I thought you'd all appreciate it.

Be Gentle With Yourself
If you’re struggling, you deserve to make self-care a priority. Whether that means lying in bed all day, eating comfort food, crying, sleeping, rescheduling plans, finding an escape through a good book, watching your favorite tv show, or doing nothing at all — give yourself permission to put your healing first. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and today, whatever you do, let it be enough. Feel your feelings, breathe, and be gentle with yourself. Acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can to cope and survive. And trust that during this time of struggle, it’s enough. — Daniell Koepke

positiveoutlooksblog.com/2014/12/17/be-gentle-with-yourself/

Thanks for that faith, that really rings true for me just now x

Made me feel but a good post.

I think I'm getting emotionally attached to this friend from church

Cant sleep.

Aww ((( ciq ))) did you manage to get any sleep?

About 4.5 hours. Can't think straight this morning. Wondering whether to ring gp, should ring my care coordinator but she doesn't know me. Sat in cafe cos can't face going home. Feel sick (tiredness?)

Counsellor moved to tomorrow which is prob just as well. Motivation v poor. Avoiding social contact. Inability to see a positive future. Am doing some walking today. Am supposed to leave café at 10... not long left!

((( ciq ))) did u manage to sleep?

How r u this morning faith ? The quote made me aswell because it's so fitting right now.

lem snowy goodmyth how r u all feeling this morning

Hello to everyone else and welcome to wasting

After school run instead of climbing straight into bed again my carer helped me have a much needed bath/shower and get dressed. My hair even looks nice after she blowed dried it. She even helped me put my make up on. So today I look a little human, even a little normal dare I say! At least I won't scare people later picking up DD. If only I felt normal Have taken my morning dose of diazepam so hoping it will kick in soon and help. At least my family have backed off today seeing me look normal, so they've stopped threatening to call the crisis team on me. I feel like I'm wearing a mask on my face - smiling for the world if u can call me creasing my face a smile and crying/being angry on the inside

I don't know what will help aside from running away but where do I go? How do leave my DD? Or maybe she is better off without me. I dunno so many things whirling in my head at the moment. Sorry all just needed to get this out somewhere.

((( ciq ))) do ring your care coordinator. If you can't get hold of him/her then call ur G.P. Walking sounds like a good idea if u can manage it, it will hopefully help to clear ur head. I can only manage to go out by myself if I have headphone plugged in and music playing. I hate hearing other peoples conversations and it also avoids my voices freaking me out by making me unnecessarily paranoid. Just an idea to help u go for a walk if ur feeling any paranoia.

Not great this morning as seem to have got a sickness bug as well. My head is all over the place as supposed to be getting a phone call today to talk about a phased return to work on fri but I really don't know how I will manage that right now.

goodmyth if u don't feel your ready then Don't pressurise yourself. I would say it's better to take your time to recover properly then go back to work under pressure and be off sick again. I'm sure your work will understand. Can you call ur G.P or care coordinator to discuss it before talking to your work?

Thanks pulled (Hugs) to you and mythical Sorry not much more support.

Have left message for gp to call me. Have escaped to studio. Sat in garden chair wrapped in blanket next to oil rad. Quite thirsty but immobile. Need to get more sleep tonight.

Hello to all. So sorry to hear how bad it is for some of you The cold weather and the bugs going round just add to it all

wasting is there a reason you refused ADs? I didn't want to go on mine (way way back) but they did help.

ciq re your friend: you are vulnerable to kindness atm, so to speak. Not surprisingly. Hope the GP rings and things get a little better today.

I agree with pulled about work, goodmyth. Don't go back till ready, consult your HCPs, accept phased return if poss when the time comes. (I was once off work with work-related stress, these days the guide-lines say the employer should ring to show concern etc, half-way through my sick leave work did just that. It put me back under the duvet for 3 days, grr)

I had a stressful week, felt low but it was due to house negotiations aargh, and I've got through it.

Hello to all. So sorry to hear how bad it is for some of you The cold weather and the bugs going round just add to it all

wasting is there a reason you refused ADs? I didn't want to go on mine (way way back) but they did help.

ciq re your friend: you are vulnerable to kindness atm, so to speak. Not surprisingly. Hope the GP rings and things get a little better today.

I agree with pulled about work, goodmyth. Don't go back till ready, consult your HCPs, accept phased return if poss when the time comes. (I was once off work with work-related stress, these days the guide-lines say the employer should ring to show concern etc, half-way through my sick leave work did just that. It put me back under the duvet for 3 days, grr)

I had a stressful week, felt low but it was due to house negotiations aargh, and I've got through it.

You've hit the nail on the head silvery. Trouble is its vv addictive esp given the events of the last 3 yrs.

((( silvery ))) can't remember whether it's a house move/sale your going through. Either way both are awfully stressful to so be kind to yourself.

I've decided to go for a walk (thanks ciq for the idea) so headphones at the ready & off I go!

Good for you pulled. I just spoke to my lovely gp. I'm going to see her at 5. She said she had been thinking of me yesterday eve which has made me cry . I am sitting in my studio down the garden wrapped up in coat and blanket. Did manage to get a piece of toast and a coffee. It's quiet here. I think I will just sit here until school pickup.

ciq you do right to sit in the quiet. With any luck you may go into what I call "cat trance" - the state I'm sure DCat is in some of the time - just sitting, awake but mindless...

Thanks silvery the quiet is good and I can relate to the cat trance thing.

Good chat with GP. She is so good. Said I was feeling worse last couple weeks. Her first question: is it about your relationship? Yes. Can you see yourself married to dh in 5 years? No. (though did tell her I can't see anything positive tbh).

This eve I feel that some sort of separation would not be the end of the world. I told him that I was going to sleep in DS's room for a bit as I wasn't sleeping well - partly as a result of his snoring (which is now so loud with the quetiapine and is a real issue) and because it was uncomfortable for me. To which he said "Still?" and I said Yes. I've told DCs and they're cool because we all slept in the same room over the weekend and DH woke them up a lot....

I feel like a massive load has been lifted. Dh looks shell-shocked though. But I'm still going to do it.

I'm really sorry if this is hard for anyone to read, but I have to protect my own mental health and my ability to be a good mum to my kids.

CiQ, I totally understand where you are coming from and you are right, you absolutely need to protect your MH and your ability to be a good mum, which you are, undoubtedly. Do you think that the outcome of this will be a separation?

I too like the idea of a cat trance, cats have pretty much got life sussed haven't they?

How was your walk Pulled? I hope that it helped.

TSP - that does sound like a stressful week, good for you for getting through that.

How was the work phonecall Goodmyth? Remember to go at your pace, not theirs!

Today has been a bit better for me, i think it is because its february and not january, jan is always a difficult month for me, i feel like im in limbo. I got a letter from the MH people and they finally seemed concerned - they are going to contact me re "high intensity CBT" am hopeful that i will make some progress. My thoughts today have been, "well, today is ok, but what if thats it? (to quote Jack Nicholson) What if this is as good as it gets?" Its not much to aspire to is it? But then is it? The way Ive been feeling lately, i should be bloody grateful for "ok". So for now, keep breathing.

Snowy - thinking of you x

Nana? are you ok? you are quiet

sorry if ive forgotten anyone.

thanks lem maybe. But just acknowledging it is a possibility (tho devastating) has taken the pressure off a little.
When I got back from the GP he asked if she was happy with my progress. I said "Progress?!" surely its not rocket science to know that I'm not going to be making any sort of 'progress' in this situation. It is like this with everything.

Thinking of you too, and good to hear about the CBT x

Hello all - thanks for asking after me Lem - I do lurk on the thread but I dunno, I can't seem to remember everyone these days and don't like posting without "talking" to people about their predicament and then I worry that I'm missing out relative newcomers............hmmm. Glad you're getting some help/support Lem - you've been struggling for a long time I know.

FLG when I read the first line of your post about "positive outlook pages on FB" I thought oh NO, but then I read the rest of it and it was SO good to read that, just what I needed to hear. When I'm having a bad time I stay in bed till 1.00 ish and sometimes go back later in the day and though I don't feel guilty as such I think about all the mums struggling with depression and other MH issues who have young children to care for, and I feel fortunate I suppose.

LOVE the idea of the cat trance Silvery and I look at my two cats who spend the day lazing around, either on my new soft blanket or in front of the fire and I sort of envy them their ability to be so relaxed but I like to see them warm and cuddling up to each other.

Hello MGM I don't think we've "met" but it sounds like you're suffering from anxiety maybe? I know that feeling of thinking you're ok and then caving in.....horrible.

CIQ hello.....silvery is right, as you recognise you are very in need of kindness just now and I can see perfectly well that it is understandable that you are feeling an emotional connection with this friend from church, but you are also very needy and vulnerable and I think you need to take care and try not to become emotionally involved with this man as I think you said he's married. You don't need that kind of complication in your life just now. Oh god I hope I don't sound "preachy" (it's late and I'm tired so not the best time to post. I "get" the addiction side of things as well but...........take care.

Glad you have a lovely female GP. I have one too and it makes SO much difference doesn't it. Mine is lovely and never rushes me - often in there for 30 mins and she phoned me at home the other evening to tell me the result of an MRI scan, even though there was nothing much to tell! I absolutely agree with you not sleeping with DH - good move. Stay resolute on that one. Is there any way you can separate as the current situation is causing a decline in your MH isn't it and I recall a time when you were doing really well. I know finance is an issue but IS there a way?

Pulled - oh I do feel for you as you have a lot of health issues, mental as well as physical I know. Are you a single parent and how old is your DD? Sounds like you have family support and a carer. Glad you managed to get out today.

Think that's everyone on this page covered! As for me - well I'm not great. Had a really good Jan depression wise with little trouble but the headmonster returned with a vengeance a few days ago and has been on the rampage again. It's really strange - when I'm ok I can't imagine feeling so crap and empty and unmotivated etc and the opposite is true. Does anyone else find this. Also had some physical health stuff going on and my GP has referred me for scans (nothing found) and to a Haematologist as she has concerns about my blood tests. Have a B9 deficiency and possibly B12. Have been feeling really nauseas off and on since last summer but only told her about this about October. It comes and goes but when it's here (like now) I can't eat properly and only want white toast/crackers that sort of thing - carbs I suppose. Normally I have a reasonably good diet. I keep buying fruit but I can't face it - it's all gong off in the bowl and normally I eat loads as I like all fruit.

Well it's now early morning so it's time to go to bed. What's happened to Spidey - is she still around....

I saw snowy on another thread and has anyone heard from Keema - she's gone very quiet too.

Does anyone think of the time before they got mentally ill and find it difficult to remember what it was like to have good mental health. Just wondered. It's definitely time I went to bed - I'm rambling...........