community-based psychiatric adventures of the mentally normal

[Mitchy1nge]

am not sure if mavis is still in this one

I get a new one when the old one is disgusting

there are 3 decomposing in the utility room and one balanced precariously on a shelf made especially for the original, differently proportioned microwave

Are you going to be able to make that appointment this morning Mitchy?

I don't know

recalcitrant teen is not ready for 'medical unit that delivers some education via a coke-head whom I suspect I would quite like to bang' yet, feels like we might be a tiny bit too late

am obviously not very committed to my own mental well-being

Hey everyone.

Sorry. The stress of last week got to me in the end, and I spent Friday feeling crap. My eye swelled up again, which usually means I'm getting cellulitis of the face again, so we stayed here and travelled up to his parents on Saturday morning.

Yesterday was pretty stressful. His parents can be full on, and like to tell DP what to do, and it drives me scatty. Then we got stuck in traffic for three hours, and the drive home was a nightmare, and DP was in a mood. We had a bit of an argument, and he was pretty cold for the rest of the night, which meant I couldn't sleep (because I'm pathetic).

He hasn't text me yet today and I can't concentrate because of it. I know that rationally I could text him, but I want him to text me. Usually he checks in to see how I'm doing at 10am.

Social Services are being less than helpful again. They won't ask the crisis team to give me a backdated sick note. They told me to call them myself...which I would, if I could. Drs are being a pain too. I need to go for a meds review but I can't bring myself to leave the house.

Eurgh. And now I've written another essay.

Keema Good luck with the kitchen! Mine isn't too bad because I was baking last weekend, but it could do with a wipe. Another thing I should be doing but am not.

Mitchy I hope your appt goes okay, if you go.

Thanks for thinking of me. I feel so lonely today. Broken and lonely.

have been wondering how you are infinity is lovely to see you, although sounds like things could be better

did not achieve appointment but did achieve just under an hour of one of Shiva Rea's pre-set yoga practices (usually use the matrix and make up own ones but she knows what she is doing) am glad I couldn't find the Rodney Yee dvd that I was actually looking for when I found hers, forgot how much I like her, can stop sulking about the time and £££ constraints that are keeping me from hot yoga (actually I can't cope with going out into the cold after class)

annoyingly slightly tetchy cat kept getting involved at worst possible points, falling asleep on my back in bow pose, wrapping round my ankle in standing split when I was not v balanced

Hi Infinity. Sounds like a total bugger of a week you've had. All that admin stuff on top is just a total pain too Sorry this weekend was so difficult. FWIW I don't think you sound pathetic at all. I can't sleep after an argument either.

I hope you don't get a bout of cellulitis. It's something I have a horror of as I know how painful it can be, and on your face? Ouch.

Hope your DP gets in touch soon.

I've been mooching about uselessly this morning and have lunched on expired ham from yesterday's reduced section, so if I don't come back, I'm probably suffering on the loo

Love the video Mitch

Hello... hope none of you mind me joining in. I'm far from mentally normal, but I do a bloody good impression of it when most of my family are around!

I'm also, at this moment, a kitchen tidying refusnik.

I've been lucky so far with the psychiatrists I've seen in that they've all been lovely. How representative that is is yet to be seen. My trust is the same as yours Keema, so I guess there's a chance that this pattern won't continue. My cpns, however, have been a totally different kettle of fish. The one I have now is awesome, but the one before... well. She was as much use as a chocolate teapot, and as much empathy as a a household brick. I told her I was actively suicidal, that I had a plan (which would have worked without doubt) and a date etc- at this point it's worth bearing in mind she didn't know me at all. I'd seen her maybe 3 times in 6 weeks, because despite calling the crisis team regularly and begging her for more help (all the time becoming steadily more and mre ill), she didn't think it necessary to schedule any more appointments than that. Can anyone guess the pearl of wisdom she offered? I think it equals, possibly betters the old 'pull yourself together'....

""

I consider myself to be a very lucky lady. A very good friend (who also has mental health issues, thus gets it) called me at exactly the right moment, totally by chance...

Why didn't that go into italics? Hmm. I can rarely get those right, but hopefully you know what I mean.

I hope the cellulitis disappears,Infinity. It sounds like it's the last thing you need right now.

The ham will be fine, Enpo. At least, I hope it will; I'm currently eating Camembert post dates mind, so not sure you listen to me....

Hi, Goddess! That CPN sounds unsympathetic, to say the least I've had an odd mix when it comes to suicidality - when meeting with the HTT this last time I mentioned something I'd been told before many times, which is that if I really want to kill myself it's up to me and my responsibility, and in the end nobody can or will stop me. At which point the HTT woman said, "Oh yes we can! We'll just get the police to come and stop you."

For italics BTW it's these ones rather than the creepy wee pointy brackets like these < >

The ham was an unsliced end, which helps, and I've trained my body with years of the sniff-it-and-see approach to cooked meats. Oddly I'm a total stickler for raw meat hygiene as I'm terrified of campylobacter and salmonella. So we'll see what happens.

I've been told that Camembert never goes off; it merely matures beyond your ability to cope with it

Oh gods the kitchen. I currently have no clean cutlery or crockery AT ALL.

Ah fuck. I forgot when DP picked up a repeat prescription for me the other day, he'd get a list of all the drugs I have on repeat and when they were last prescribed. Which means he's just seen, while going through his wallet, that I've only recently been given a big pile of codeine tablets that I'd neglected to mention to him. He doesn't seem to have properly twigged that it's different from my ordinary soluble cocodamol yet, but was puzzled, as he'd thought I was running low on that. I don't want him to know I stashed away the pure codeine without telling him. I'm so terrible at hiding things, and I feel awful about lying by omission, but if I come clean I'm going to have to explain that I was keeping it as a contingency plan. And it hurts him so much if I even hint at suicidal feelings.

I'd say that if he asks tell him the truth, which is the doctor switched you to codeine and paracetamol to give you more flexibility in how you take them, rather than the cocodamol where you have to take them both at the same time. As for the lying by omission; that's a bit trickier. Only you know what or how he'll react, but if you have no intention of doing it now and you've talked with him about how you feel generally, then I'd question whether it's information that he needs to know right now. I'd also consider maybe reducing your stash too, if that's what you decide to do so it's not something you have to hide. Tough call.

Oh dear I really am high as a kite this afternoon. I forgot to pick up DS's prescription for melatonin as well, so he's going to be high as a kite tonight as well. Parenting fail 101.

Epno, my DH can't deal with me at all when I get suicidal so I hide it from him which makes it worse. It's twice now that I've wound up in hospital for being suicidal and he's only found out as I've been admitted. It's hard though. How do you talk to someone about something they find distressing?

See, I'm so lucky. DP also has Bipolar, and so totally understands that when I get suicidal it's not necessarily that I want to leave him personally; more it's indicative that I'm really not well. It helps as well that he used to be a samaritan- although he does find it distressing, he's able to be more objective I think. He's said in the past that the bit he finds difficult is seeing me in such distress that I'd consider suicide as an option.

It's still really difficult though, so I can't imagine how hard it is for you guys.

I'm going to have to hope he lets it slide, Goddess, because he knows I've been requesting to be changed to separate codeine and paracetamol for quite a while, and normally would've told him straight away that the doctor had decided to do that.

I can't actually lie to him so if he asks I will have to say why I didn't tell him about it. Can't cope with reducing my stash just yet as that would leave me only with my more certain and quicker but far more painful methods, which are very easy to do on impulse - no planning required, so they're much more dangerous to me than a pile of drugs.

Keema - that's exactly it, how do you talk about this stuff to someone who is going to be desperately distressed by it? It's so hard. DP does know I have thoughts but doesn't know I have specific plans etc. . It's particularly hard to talk about because his previous partner died young when they were together (not suicide, but it means that if I talk about wanting to die, I'm essentially threatening to do again something that nearly killed him the first time it happened).

DP suffers depression too, and I agree Goddess that it does help him understand me in a way (and me him), when it comes to mood stuff.

Argh have dragged thread down. Sorry.

possibly better than going through it alone?

am not very good at hiding the urge to kill myself, putting on a brave face or any of that

(there are NO EGGS so am feeling a bit less than enthused about Being Alive right now)

No eggs?! But what of The Omelette?

I'm not good at hiding my feelings. Went for gym review last Friday thinking I could pretend I was fiiine and apparently it was blatantly obvious to all and sundry that I wasn't really fine and everyone was really lovely and understanding which made me cry. But I can't talk about suicide to people I love.

I've been reasonable and clear from DHs very first psych appoint (inpatient) that I will not accept his discharge until I have support in place for me (dh depressed all 2012, 2013 I had a breakdown). Every week, sometimes twice a week I've said this. Has anyone got in touch with me? No. After my GP chased three times? No. After Dhs new psych referred me? No.

So what do I get in Dh's ward round meeting today "We're aiming for a discharge next Wednesday, how do you both feel about that?

f*g fy F*k !!!!!!!!!!

I will not agree to a discharge date until I have some support in place.

However being reasonable is simply not working. I have tried to call the local CMHT twice and have been lost in the phone system twice.

I am back at my GP tomorrow, not sure what use that will be. Will I end up with some awful CPN like some of you guys??? Sometimes I feel like I am loosing my mind and making a big fuss, but then I think, No, actually this is really serious - he's still v ill, I am just about managing to look after me and the DCs, really not sure I can manage to look after him, let alone the keeping him safe anxiety which I have managed to bury at the moment.

mitchy does that keep you safer? My dh is rubbish in that he hides everything and look where that got us!